I would sing for you, but I fear you would be distracted by Kermit singing "It's Not Easy Being Green" from inside my throat. Instead, I will talk about how glorious it is to look at the dates and volume numbers of newspapers written by people who had way to much fun in the 60s and 70s. It's wonderful, so delightful in fact that I have reconsidered telling you about it for fear that you'll want my job. My youngest godson has a birthday coming up, so I suppose I should think of an extra special present for him. Perhaps, a foam bat with which to bap his mommy on the head. I will have to contemplate this further. In the meantime, keep eating more fruit.

The joys of being ill have kept me from updating this lovely little journal, but as my health improves, I feel the urge to spread my weirdness. Luckily, during my illness, I had a ravishing waitress and two handsome waiters who were kind enough to bring me food and make sure I hadn't fallen over and been immobilized. Thanks, guys, I appreciate it. I may never finish all the food that is hanging out in my fridge, but it sure will be fun to try.

So over the course of my sickness, I reached a few undeniable conclusions which include but are not limited to the following.

I keep getting these e-mails about the 80s. As if I know anything about the 80s, right? So instead of cruelly mocking the people who haven't noticed the nice padded walls that are trying to keep them out of our office space (the padded walls make me feel at home), I am going to add my commentary about these topics for the edification of all my readers. Prepare for a super long entry and here goes.

You know you grew up in the '80s if....

Unfortunately,I have suffered from the psych malady. Of course, my brother suffered from it more extremely and would use it as a way to cruelly taunt me. "Bella, I am going to give you this last cookie *extended pause* psych." That's okay, if you cry enough, your big brother will give you the cookie, especially if you have a horrible temper and he doesn't want you to break his stuff.

There is another way to solve a Rubics cube? You have to be kidding me.

I think I may have seen an episode or two. My claim to pound puppy fame was the fact that I somehow inherited two of the spotted ones from my brothers and had a wrinkled one of my very own. I always thought it was kind of cute that they had the two hearts with p's in them on their booties. Mind your p's and q's boys.

I actually had a deep aversion to biker shorts for a different reason than I do now. I was a toothpick in those days as hard as that may be to believe. I just thought they looked retarded. Of course, I did wear normal shorts under my skirts from a deep sense of paranoia. Enough of your fellow students tell you about your underwear and you would wear shorts too. I did manage to get over that issue, but I developed a reflex to kick, so keep your eyes away from my bloomers:)

I never owned the dolls, but I had a hugga-bunch nightgown and an outfit bedecked with Rainbow Bright and her crew. In fact, my memory of Strawberry Shortcake involves a dream where someone I know morphed into her. My mind must have been trying to tell me something, but that is another story.

Three words: Can't touch this.
Four words: Trauma of those pants.

Blatheringblatherskites. I can, but for the sakes of your ears I will not. *goes off to take a swim in Scrooge's money*

I can honestly say I was never freaked out by the crypt keeper, but if you have ever met my family you would understand. Besides, he's a little bony guy, I would have just had my hero Brown Dog clean the floor with him or Gizzy or Ralph (the orange and yellow werewolf).

Oh yeah, the Kool-Aid man was awesome. I also enjoyed those commercials where he broke through a brick wall to bring people refreshments. Now if he would really do that, I would never be thirsty.

If you haven't watched Fraggle Rock, I pity you. A couple of months ago, I went on a mad spree, searching for clips of it to bring joy to my life. Besides, the Fraggles and Doozers give one a greater appreciation of the joy of turnips.

With the joy of reruns, tapes, and DVD's, we can live this experience once more without all those awesome 80s commercials unfortunately.

Well, I never had a computer class that let us play games, but I did get to play the Oregon Trail. I stopped naming characters after my brother since he always got diphtheria and died, and I was pretty good shot-nothing like childhood experience catching your own deer. In fact, I bought an adaptation of the game for my computer.

I did that by accident which almost ruined my uncoolness quotient. Luckily, my fellow students felt my discomfort and decided to go back to mocking me.

Oh, my mother let us have garbage pail kids. I think she may have collected them herself for a while there. If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken better care of those honeys, they're awesome.

Yes. Enough said. *writes i's and t's all over some paper*

If you don't know this, I am not going to tell you. In fact, I may have to walk by you with my nose in the air.

Well, I wouldn't say I wanted to be a Goonie per se, but I did have an incredible crush on Sean Astin. Wait, I think I may still have that crush. *brings up some images in her mind from "Rudy" and "LoTR". I also am one of the many who complained about missing scenes from the movie, though no one agrees that there were leeches. *sigh*

I have bright pink, vintage 70s, polyester bell bottoms, your neon colors can not break me. *dances a combo of break-dancing and disco*

Now, that is not very nice, but let us go back a little further and remember the fro. Now that was awesome.

Well, I do not remember Sassett, but I remember thinking Azrael was the most horrible cat ever. I also remember my mom saying my dad looked like Gargamel. Talk about traumatic thoughts.

They came out with those dangerous weapons again. I saw them at Wal-mart, but I remember the originals. "Let me put it on you." *whap* "Oh, was that backward. Sorry about that bruise."

Once more I must sheepishly confess to this problem.

I saw someone wearing one of those recently. It looked ratty but still seemed to be in working order. I never understood why people would want to accentuate which parts of their body stayed warmer than others.

She was pretty cool for someone with poor color coordination.

I owned many pairs of jelly shoes and would wear them anywhere, even through water since they would always dry out. I had a pair of clear ones once that had lace on the inside though, so they didn't get to meander through the creek.

I actually say that a lot. Especially when I sing my fat girl song.

I had a glow worm but no batteries--what cruelty.

I do. In fact, I danced excitedly and bought the little ones. Now I am waiting for someone to buy me one as a present.

I love that song. I don't usually follow it's philosophy, but that's me.

No, I did not no matter how hard my mom tried to make me. I hate socks and shoes. I am a hobbit I tell you, just like Mikey...er Sam Gamgee.

Okay, suffice it to say, I had little piggy banks name Kokomo and Pokomo and it wasn't due to my geography skills.

Well, I can make the mogwai noises and I have both movies, so yes, I do remember.

I remember the Transformers and the Gobots. Scooter was my hero with that nice squeaky voice.

I was not a fan of the overalls and still am not. While they look cute on some people, I am not one of those people. Just trust me on this one.

Remember! Pshaw. I still have my My Little Ponies and they still love me and keep me company. I have a novel somewhere that I wrote about them.

I remember him thought I never got to watch the show. The reasons for this are complex, but I will cite my crazy family for this once more.

You knew, but you did it anyway. Admit it.

Some-days, I just have to wonder about certain things. Why do some bathroom stalls open inward, forcing you to chacha with the toilet in order to escape? Why is it that this college has school on a day when no public schools or federal businesses such as the post office are open? Why is it that people won't accept the fact that I am a hobbit? More importantly, why I am I awake now?

Well, no one could give me the answers to those questions, but someday I will find the answer and then people shall come visit me on the misty mountains to find the meaning of life. I will laugh at them all, however, and keep my secrets to myself. Unless of course they are very charming and very sweet. I don't know anyone like that though, or do I. *blushes and goes back to her meecrofeelm*

To add to the boredom of my life, I now get to try to find people to live with me. This could be quite the trial since I have two cats, one of whom has asthma and therefore can not be around smoke. Wish me luck, kids.

On another note, I am in a better mood and I am trying to become a better geek. I may succeed or I may fail, but you'll get to read all my thoughts on it here. Seems like I am trying to become a better everything, but we'll have to see how that goes. *wanders off to Bella improvement school*

Latest stats show that the number of average viewers of my journal is sloping off. You know what this means? I can complain about my terrible Valentine's Day and be assured that no one will know the difference. Muhahahaha. So here I launch my complaint about the lack of flowers in my life this week.

So anyway, I got to listen to a talk by Lady Lovely Shelby as I ate a delicious lunch today. I also got to spend time with some good friends who have been very kind in dealing with my grumpiness of late. Hopefully, I will be able to bring as much joy into their lives as they do into mine. You guys and gals know I love you. Have a peachy day, I have a preference for peachy pie topped with ice cream. *wanders off to drool on her work*

Well, that wasn't even slightly funny. Bella must be in a mood. Happens to some of us. Anyway, I'll try and be funny later.

Today is a beautiful day, mainly because it is no longer Monday. The chill in the air seems to have abated a bit or else my confused body is just adapting to it again. Before you know it, humans in this state will just wander around with the same kinds of clothes for all seasons because the weather has been messed up so much that we adapt to it. *rambles on in the hopes that everyone reading this will fall asleep*

Today has not been too exciting thus far, but with two days to go before Valentine's Day, we are all down to the wire. Well, except me, I no longer have a significant other to shop for. This also means I don't have to worry about big bouquets of flowers arriving at my door, unless I have a secret admirer *rofl*. I won't hold my breath, only smurfs look good in blue. So, anyway, here goes the bad humor.

So I haven't been updating my webpage as often as you would like? What can one do, tar and feather me? Naw, then my fingers would stick to the keyboard as I tried to type and I might have an allergic reaction to the feathers. You never know until you try, after all. Maybe we should take me out and beat me? Naw, even my strange sense of humor would leave then. I guess your only option is to cope and eat lots and lots of sugar.

Bella has been quite the busy bee this weekend. Of course, I had to see part of the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. They were having them in Salt Lake City, how in the world could I miss that? So that took up a good part of my Friday evening, especially since I went to Fairmont to see them at a friend's house and then, I went home and went to bed. Let me tell you, sleep is excellent after watching people gracefully skating around in an auditorium.

So Saturday was a beautiful day and I dragged out my rollerblades, cleaned off the cobwebs (yes, it had been that long since I used them), and wandered through the house feeling tall. Then I went down to the waterfront to get some much-needed excercise with Mezon. Later on in my preparations to cry if I got complaints from my muscles for forcing them to move, I was invited to go see a movie with friends. The movie of choice was I Am Sam. It was an interesting look at life, I must say, but it made me kind of teary-eyed and I much prefer laughter, so my opinion of it may be biased. Anyway, I may crack some bad jokes later, but for now it is time to go back to work.

The Hedgehog family would like to welcome their new family member Sweetie Bob, a sweet little fellow who likes to give out sparkly roses to those he loves. Big Bad Bob, Bob, Bouda Bob, Santa Bob, BabyBob, Prickles, and Henry would like to extend a warm welcome, as would I. Yes, Bob is a family name in case you didn't guess. Prickles is a lady so the name would not be fitting and Henry is the black sheep of the family. That is a little bit of Hedgehog history for you.

I was so busy yesterday that I didn't get to update my journal. I know you were all heartbroken, but I can tell you what uninteresting things kept me busy as consolation prize. Of course, I got to work with beautiful microfilm records, so that was the start of my lovely day after of course waking up and throwing on clothes. Then I went to lunch with my Teffie who presented me with Sweetie Bob because she is such a sweetie herself. We ate at Nick's which is a wonderful place and has delicious gyros *drool*. Then I returned to work for more hours of fun and excitement.

Then I rushed home to play with raw meat and peel potatoes and apples, so I could make dinner for myself and a few friends. At the last minute, I realized it might be wise to invite someone else to dinner since I can't seem to cook for less than four people. My friend Bob (this one is not a hedgehog or a tomatoe, poor guy) graciously accepted my offer of free munchies and joined us. Then we ate my yummy food and talked about computers (imagine that) and French (I have no idea why...je ne connais pas francais. PAS DE TOUT!!!).

Then, I invited my friend to watch a movie while I role-played. I am the IMPress after all, I should encourage these things. Since my collection of movies has been lauded across the seas, he accepted. Like a good hostess, I wandered back and forth between my computer and my TV, so I could make sure he was enjoying the movie and not influencing the other Bob's in the room to become taller. You know how guys are. He left before the 2.5 hours of RP were over, so he didn't get to hear my conclusions, but I am sure he will survive.

And if the length of this entry doesn't make you feel all better about having nothing to read yesterday, you can just go eat a lot of cookies to ease your depression.

My computer is begging for love in this season of love by proudly displaying a heart-shaped lollipop with the words "HUG ME" proudly emblazoned across it. Tonight I will be dancing my little belly off (that is my sincerest hope), so I will be able to tell you all about it tomorrow. Work is still proving to be more excitement than I deserve with hundreds of titles for drug-induced literature from the 60s and 70s for me to observe, so I shall get back to that. Bore you more later.

It has come rather fully to my attention that we are in the middle of the season of love. Roses are on sale at extravagant prices and little pink and red hearts have cropped up windows and doors. In fact, earlier this week I even saw Cupid looking at me speculatively and thinking about shooting me in the bootie with one of his little golden arrows. Luckily, I was able to scare him away with a single ferocious glare. In honor of the season and my recent success with the winged archer baby, I have decided to help my charming readers find sentimental gifts for those they love without making a huge dent in their pocketbooks.

So, it's a Monday morning and I am a lot less hyper than I was last night, after eating tons of sugar after not eating for a while. It's like alcohol (I'm told) and hits you awfully hard on an empty stomach. I made a new friend who is a crocodile (don't tell any of the Bob Hedgehogs, they get jealous easily). My brain is pondering certain imponderables but since none of them are amusing, I don't feel I should share with the group. This is a lot like group counselling for crazy people though, isn't it?

Ah the month of love has started. I fully realized that this morning as Rodney was sniffing Ziggy and licking her lil' face. I guess he missed her while she was in the icky hospital. She is home now and feeling a little better. She doesn't scream at me when I touch her anymore, which is good since she has decided that she really likes sleeping in my bed. The more the merrier as long as they are animals and not humans and they don't try to get under my covers (freaks). No humans in my bed but me--it's much too small for more than one person.