So I spent this lovely May Day in my usual Sunday way. This means I was not all dolled up and wrapping ribbons around a maypole. I was hanging out with my friends from church and enjoying our last Sunday together for a while. Most of them will be traveling home before the weekend and thus the deadness of summer shall begin.

After church, I came home and despite getting more than enough sleep after attempting to square dance like a wild woman, passed out again. I woke up to find the wrong cat in my bed, two very hungry babies and not enough time to become enraptured with anything before the Fireside.

The Fireside provided us with counsel on what dating is since we've degenerated to just hanging out. I had to giggle to myself since I've had what was described as dating (one on one non-physical interactions with people of the opposite sex) defined as hanging out. Ah, the irony that I feel no inclination to discuss here, but want to prompt myself to remember.

Afterward, of course, a group of us went to hang out. We played some University clue, one of which games concluded with me killing the university President with a keg in the CAC. All I have to say is that the keg better have been full of kool-aid. We also learned that one of my guy friends is confused and thinks I am a guy in drag and he doesn't like it when I laugh at a Mongolian phrase book. Just picture any guy you know saying, "I'm pregnant" in Mongolian. Come on, it's funny. Sweet dreams.

So I gave into the power of propaganda. Nothing draws my attention quicker than a picture of Yoda. Combine that with the chance to get my very own light saber spoon. I can now attack the Jedi cereal with a vengeance. I shall have to explore how cool this makes me whenever I find time to enjoy a bowl of cereal.

I spent the morning immersed in the joy that was the USSR. I live for sorting out microfiche. Not going to go into how much joy that is. I wouldn't want to make my readers jealous. I know how everyone wants to be like me. They are even selling Bella masks in the stores. Ah, but only I can be me. Be thankful, a world of Bella's would be too much to handle.

Another wonderful Monday concluded with a festive game of Jeopardy. The game show hosts did a good job considering they got to deal with the contestants. Some days I really don't need any encouragement for contention. And today, I feel I should exercise my right to keep my mouth shut. Besides, I have a piece of cake that needs me to eat it. So get ready for the wonderful month of May.

Bind their mouths with golden laces
Make them wish those distant places
Were closer than your lips, your touch
Everything that meant so much
Before angels opened their mouths to speak
Gave out wisdom you did not seek
Let you see the treachery, hatred, and lies
They hide behind smiles, while their eyes
Degrade you by seeing you as you never were
But they know so much, they are sure
When twilight falls that your clothes undone
Fall as well, forgetting the warmth of the sun
You give way to carnal desire that burns
Like nothing else, like no one learns
That such caresses without love
Bring the death I am most in fear of

After taking a little nap (about three hours), my day perked up enough to make some more adjustments to my website. I now have all of the old journals up and running. Well, I believe I do. Feel free to tiptoe through the backlogs and let me know if you find any dead links, typos, or other fun errors. It does happen, particularly when one updates 45 files and then some. Well, aside from the fiching of America and my website concerns, my disgruntled body has not been up to much joy and excitement, so I leave you with the wise words of my cat, *wheeze wheeze wheeze*. He's so cute when he sleeps.

To most people, today is just some random Mexican holiday whose origins they don't care about. After all, it is finals week and nothing says end of the year like getting drunk off Coronas with lime and sarsaparilla. Actually, I can not claim to know people are actually doing that. In this town, they are probably taking advantage of quarter pitcher night or something like that. Mormon web divas don't belong in bars. For me, however, today is much cooler.

Today is my darling Aravan's birthday. In honor of that, I have tried to paint a picture of her with words, so enjoy it. Well, only she needs to enjoy it. The rest of you can just smile and enjoy the warmer weather.

"Wandering is one of the most sensible things in the world to do. I highly recommend the pursuit of happiness from east to west, bending and stopping, pausing, enjoying, not going anywhere in particular except down a beach or around a pond, always knowing that there is something wonderful just ahead." ~Ann H. Zwinger ~Naturalist

It's Friday night and I have nothing better to do than update this journal. Unfortunately, since my brother isn't around to sing me another chorus of I'm Every Woman., I do not have anything fun to talk about. You're in luck though, there is a site out there for you to explore. Google can help you find it.

Relieve some stress before you read: here.

I woke up this morning before my alarm was scheduled to go off. This happens from time to time, but usually I just roll over and go back to sleep. I rolled over and Ziggy complained. I rolled away from my little nudist and still couldn't find my way back into dreamland. It was at this point that I remembered I was going to go see how many random people I could bump into if I wandered off to the scrapbooking store. I only bumped into one person. By the time I was finished staring at paper and beads and glitter and metal embellishments, my mind had informed that my alarm was probably about to go off.

So I drove home, remembering on the way that today was the big day for moving Stepping Stones. I know my readers have heard my random raves on this particular non-profit organization. Every October, I dress up as a ghoul and offer to scare or entertain you in exchange for you purchasing a ticket and riding around in a wagon full of hay. So I headed over to their old establishment in my tiny, little hobbitmobile. Imagine my surprise when the hobbitmobile was volunteered to transport computer monitors. I believe we squeezed seven of them in my car, but we could have put at least two more in the front seat.

On my list of things that do not make me feel comfortable behind the wheel is now, having a monitor flying at my head while I am driving. Luckily, it was on the right side of my head, so I was able to deter it from causing all sorts of pain. We made it safely to its new home and unloaded all sorts of fascinating boxes. Then we returned for another go around with packing and moving. Apparently, we did an excellent job because we didn't have a lot to pack. This left me with time to notice that a full length mirror was hiding in the trash. Being me, I claimed it and brought it home, so now Rodney and Ziggy have a wonderful new toy to peer into, complete with a tiny birdhouse and no birds in the top corner. Then I came home and took the rest of my nap before attacking nasty ickies in my kitchen with mass prejudice.

So I visited my mom this weekend. As one can well imagine, this led to all sorts of hijinks. We watched television. We watched more television. Then I threatened to turn her cat into Hunan of General Tso's kitten. I don't think he was amused, but he seems used to such abuse.

I also got to participate in the grand scavenger hunt. I am seeking after parts for the incredibly sexy hobbitmobile. You would not believe how difficult this can be, but if you stand too close, you might get to hear how little I appreciate getting the run around. My brother and I decided that the test to work at the u-pull-it yard only requires you to answer two questions correctly, 1) What is your name? and 2) Do you know what a car is? And you can receive partial credit for answers spelled incorrectly. Aside from that, nothing exciting enough to comment on is happening.

It has been another incredibly long day. It is almost 9:30 and I have been wanting to crawl back into bed for four hours. In fact, I would have but I was busy guarding my cute little bird. Okay, I was roasting a chicken. I was also peeling potatoes and making gravy and scrubbing down my house. This was briefly interrupted by calling around in search of car parts. Months later, my bumper still has not been replaced. Someday, I will conquer the evil car gods and return the hobbitmobile to something like its previous glory.

In the meantime, I have a million things I need to do. My life, despite being in the same state it has been in for years, needs a little (actually, a lot) of cleaning. I think I may have to start in my room. I keep finding Ziggy pawing through my possessions. I think she has a secret desire to be a rodent. She keeps gnawing on paper and leaving shreds of it all over the floor for me to grouse at. Anyway, I just told someone that watching their toes wiggle is entertainment. I think it is time for a little, tiny nap.

Of all the things that a crazy cat lady expects, one of them is not to have a fish happy to see her (fiche, yes; fish no). I was, however, greeted by one very excited fish early this morning as I stumbled into his line of vision on an important mission. Young Jonah the Beta was in need of some post-weekend refreshment. The instant he saw me, he swam over to my side of his decorative fishbowl and begged for my attention. Luckily for him, my purpose in life was to feed Jonah, the fish. (Ah, the Biblical irony in that).

Of course, they was about as expected as me pseudo-babysitting a cute little tot in Conference yesterday. This is not really the best idea. Sometimes I lose focus on the adorable child in my lap. Luckily, the guy in front of me surprised me by being very patient and the aforementioned adorable child began pressing his feet into the back of his neck. The people behind me were much quicker to notice and nice enough to point it out to me. After that, I caught onto the deviant need to prop feet up on other people that was being exhibited and managed to prevent a repeat performance.

Also unexpected was the appearance of my Mrs. this evening. Our small troop traveled to the beautiful glory of Cooper's Rock. Despite the cold, we managed to have a good time. We ate wings and celery and carrots, and, of course, cookies. No Mormon party is as cool without cookies. Of course, everyone expects me to come packing sugar to these activities. I wonder what else I can expect from the week. Hopefully, it will involve the acquisition of random parts for my incredibly sexy car. The hobbitmobile needs some love, so if you want to donate to the cause, feel free to do so. You can also encourage me to update these barely created and uncreated pages by contributing to my vacation fun. Yeah,yeah, I know begging is so beneath me, and does me no good anyway. Off to play on other sites.

So I killed a book today. I finished reading it, actually. It seems like an eternity since I have done that. It still tickles at my mind, the weirdest ones always do. Makes me wonder what else I lost between here and there besides my mind and my ability to relax, stop gritting my teeth so much that when I touch them, my jaw aches. So why the heck am I posting this entry? I have no idea, perhaps to unburden my heart like I unburden my wallet to fix up the hobbitmobile.

Some days I seriously consider the infinite power of silence. I keep getting reminded that I expect far too much from people. I expect them to exhibit either my finer traits or my worst traits, but usually, they don't exhibit either. They find the traits that leave me weeping into my cocoa or my pillow as the case may be and drive me half crazy. And still I forgive them and come back for more manipulation and and disappointment. On a plus side though, I do have books. I have lots and lots of books. It is the end of the fiscal year and everyone must place those last few orders. And that is all I have to say right now.

So I had to take the day off work today. After my free meal last night (this happens when they bring you a pink burger after making you wait forever for your appetizer), I reached the conclusion that the hobbitmobile was trying to tell me something. It turns out that it has a few more nifty quirks to add to its list of problems. Needless to say, I am still scraping together as many pennies as possible to try to keep her happy and pay off my bills at what I call an incredibly slow rate.

So I dragged her back to the shop this morning and made some poor mechanic ride around until my car made the offensive noise. He agreed that something was amiss. Now I am not one to be overly paranoid, but since he was underneath my car Tuesday evening without comment, I found his new number of problems a bit odd. So I shall have to deal with that as well.

Then not wanting to waste a perfectly good vacation day, I decided to make my way over to the mall. The excitement across the nation today was waiting in line to see the latest movie, starring the sexiest Muppet in the world, Yoda. Okay, so he has to be tied with Kermit--short, green, and cloth. Long-term readers know how much I adore those short, green Muppet's. The line started next to the gate and trailed off into the food court with many gaps. Of course, some people were quick to insert themselves into the gaps, but I don't care because I got to see Yoda on the big screen. Yeah, you know you're jealous (probably of him).

I also got an offer of financial remuneration for offering my assistance to a friend. I love working, not only does it help me pay my bills, but it gives me interesting things to ponder. For instance, I am currently pondering the joy that is foam doodles. Many a memory can be built on a foam doodle, but all this excitement has worn me out, so I bid my readers sweet dreams.

Caress. Tease. Tickle. Stroke. Kiss. Ponder. Words. Ideas. Pain. Flesh. Wounds. Heart. Soul. Lost. It all means absolutely nothing, especially when you are playing dumb. Why would anyone play dumb? It's just another form of deception. It's just another ploy to get a little more information. Then there are those who are truly too innocent to have any idea about the pain in this world. Sweet people. People you want to sit down and talk to just so they can give you that fresh perspective on how wonderful the world can sometimes be.

As in all things that life brings my way, I find the good and the bad pitted against each other. I find the mundane with the sublime, the love with the hate, the anger with the calm, the belonging with the displacement. I always get muddled by my trips to my hometown. It never fails. Today was definitely one of the more exciting trips to that lovely hamlet.

I went to acquire a bit of love for the hobbitmobile before trying to get a sticker. All my avid fans will be so happy that my blinker now makes the reassuring clicking sound when I indicate I am turning left. I also now do not have a cracked back light and my bumper is held together by West Virginia chrome. My brother proves himself more and more a true hick every time I see him. Yes, he has the random cars that don't run on his lawn to merit this high title.

Luckily, the medical procedures for my car were completed before noon and I was able to spend a little bit of time with some people I fear have felt neglected. Miss Kewl and I descended upon the mall where we got to peruse some intriguing artwork. I have a pamphlet for it somewhere, but I do not remember the lady's name right this moment. Her work was fascinating, however, and well done. She was showcasing two styles. One was a realistic approach with textured images that appeared one way from one angle and another from another. The other was more abstract, but if you peered beyond the swirls of color, you could find other images hidden in the depths of the color. And you know the thought that overcame me the most as she was talking? She needs to talk to my Mrs. and help her see what joy there is in creating such art. I worry very much for all of my friends at the oddest moments.

I also picked up a CD for 99 cents with the promising warning, "This is not recommended for anyone of a timid disposition or children under 9." I feel far from timid these days. I worry greatly for the people around me should I become the terrible person I have too often been accused of being. Ah, but I know nothing about the pain this world can bring, so I should not speak of such things. Anyway, my timidity is not in question.

I also got to play some cards with some other wonderful friends. This got my house-mate to stop asking me what was going on. I spend a lot of time trying to make sure everyone is happy and entertained. Luckily, I get good gas mileage like the hobbitmobile. I'm just glad my nose isn't scratched up. I will be trying to solve that problem when I get the chance. No, I am not vain that my car has scratches, but I don't think I should encourage it to rust either. Anyway, it is late, tomorrow, actually and I think I shall join the rest of the sleeping world. "Oh, Mr. Sandman, toss some of that sweet sleeping sand this way."

Baby, I don't know what you see when you look at me, but you better look deeper. I have had it insinuated again that I am too stupid to see things as they are. In the game of life, I assure you I can see manipulation in all its forms. Just because I don't explain it to you doesn't mean I agree with your long-winded explanation as to why my annoyance is unjustified. You'd have to understand it before you could rationalize it away.

So, I finished another book today. This one was entitled The Truth About Stories. Aside from being intriguing in content, it was also written more like telling a story aloud. The author would jump between ideas like one might while telling a story to a captive audience--coming back to explain something he thought his listeners might have wanted to hear again or wanted clarified. Perhaps, I should practice that because I really don't think people catch on to half of what I say. Then they get angry or upset with me because they misinterpreted me. Makes you wonder why I bother to leave my house, eh?

I leave my house because I have a job or two that needs me. I have been helping to get our new books out to the patrons over the past week. This means I am surrounded each day with tomes about everything from gardens to child abuse. Some tomes make me more sad to think about the world we live in than others, obviously. But even with all these words, some days, I feel my own words running dry. Perhaps, I shall find humor again before the week is through.

If you're a book and you know it,
Flip your pages
If you're a book and you know it,
Flip your pages
If you're a book and you know it,
And you REALLY want to show it,
Flip your pages

So Miss Patty dropped in on us today. She got to see the fabulous redorating we have done to her cubicle. Almost every surface is covered with books. In fact, as soon as we clear off a section, one of the good samaritans from Acquisitions brings us more books to fill in the gaps. I defy them though. I posted a sign that proudly let's them know how we really feel: "More Books !?!?!?!? Bring It On!!!" My boss was even impressed by this sign. Miss Patty was appalled to see her cubicle in such disorder. She even asked if we wanted her to sit down and catalogue some of the books. I was tempted to say "yes", but didn't have the money to offer her. People should receive some sort of appreciation for their work, don't you think?

So I have been trying to read some of the books that have not escaped my desk yet. As I am trying to read them, someone inevitably feels that I am doing this to entertain them and that they must interrupt me. Now when I respond in monosyllables and don't look up, you should get the hint that I am intent on what I am reading. This never happens. They then proceed to try and tell me what the book I am reading is about (despite having never read the book). Further hints also seem to go unnoticed and the next thing I know, I am giving a book report to a small congregation. Seriously, most days, I think I shouldn't be allowed out in public.

I woke up this morning so weary. I did not wake up to my alarm, so I wasn't even sure why I was awake at all. Even the backup alarms were keeping their distance as if afraid to disturb my slumber. Ever have creepy dreams that remind you just how much there is in this world that makes you sad, lonely, or worried? I have those a lot and, I confess, I don't wake up from them feeling rested. I just feel lost like I have been tossed upon a sea, a sea full of books.

So I spent the day finishing up a project. Despite not getting the materials when I was supposed to, I basically finished it. Of course, if someone wants to buy me a sewing machine that doesn't send needle tips flying at my face, that would be awesome. In the meantime, I am sure there is something I haven't fought with today, so I will go find it and vanquish it for crimes against hobbits.