Maybe it is the cold in the air. Perhaps, it is the fact that real life is not all it is cracked up to be (Humpty Dumpty likes this feature). More than likely it is the fact that I am spending way too much time alone with my cats. You know that can warp people's minds, turning them into crazy cat ladies in no time. Oh, I am already one of those--the sexiest one you will ever be reading about.

Back to the subject at hand. My brother brought home one of the Pooh books by A.A. Milne when I was in the second grade. I ran away with it as I did with all the books he brought home. I fell in love. It is not every kid who doesn't have their little dreams shattered. Imagine if all your stuffed animals could come to life and be your friends.

Now, if you were boring, they would be too. You would love them anyway though because they would be cool like you. So, I pulled out some old friends and looked at them this morning. They reminded me of a time when I could escape just by sitting down and talking to them. They always listened. They always cared. Now, I need them to help me make Thanksgiving dinner. Unfortunately, the magic is gone. That's what happens when you grow up. Stay young, small ones, stay innocent and full of unconditional love.

On a positive note, I got my very own Scrat tribute. That's right--Ice Age finally came out on DVD. I am watching the various special features as we speak. Now go get your acorns and try and bury them in the ice. If all else fails, it will make your friends realize that you are a nut.

I have these wings yet cannot fly
These rusted bars hold me here
And so I curl up and cry
Holding my knees against my fear

I have these lips but none to kiss
None to love or hold me tight
Though many claim me they miss
When faced with darkest night

I have these eyes that cannot see
For darkness has taken all away
Everything is now gone from me
And so I weep through dark day

I have nothing but this cage to protect
My heart from those who claim to care
But for want of something, me, reject
Fleeing into a dream that is not there

In case, I didn't mention it, we got snow this weekend. That's right, all you people near the equators have only heard rumors of this fluffy whiteness. I love having little balls of it thrown at my head, especially if a tall person is behind me and I duck. The advantages to being short are unlimited, you just have to be short to truly appreciate them.

THERE WAS MORE HERE, BUT IT SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN EATEN BY THE LAWN GNOMES.

I am having my own private party on my couch. My cats are helping me out by being warm and lovable. I can feel both their love and their warmth radiating toward me, but it is still a party for one. Why do I say this? Because they are sleeping and therefore can not party with me.

I spent the better part of the day watching television and wishing I could make my arms move without feeling pain. My landlord was nice enough to cut a tree branch so it would shower water all over my window, bend the gutter, and make loud obnoxious noises. Then he proceeded to climb onto my back porch and watch me through the window as he tried to fix the damage. I think he must have moved to a place with a fireplace. Since his idea of maintenance is painting the door frames pink, I can't think of any other reason why he would be cleaning brush out of the back yard.

I then got to go hang out with the infamous Scott and Jenn-Jenn gang. We were supporting Stepping Stones by having an all you can eat dinner and listening to people buy tickets. There was quite a pile at my own table, but I did not contribute. I am not sure gambling is something that interests me. Such is life. Well, kids, I am going to watch more television and write myself a love letter. See you all later.

The word on the street is that this town is full of fire lovers. I think I heard some of them in the theater tonight, as we watched the new Bond flick. I hope I am not giving away major plot lines by telling you that there was fire in the movie. Of course, you'll have to watch to see if I am just talking about a candle or something grander like a campfire. In the interests of spoilers, I want to tell you a few more things: there was a chick, she dug James, he had a car, he was called double-O seven a couple of times. Yay! I ruined it for you.

I also had a delicious Thanksgiving dinner with the happy shiny people. The food was delicious. I knew their was a reason why I love them. I thought it was just because they are cool, but they are way beyond that. They are A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! Some of them, anyway, like Miss Kewl.

I also got to spend another 7.5 hours moving my beautiful microfiche. Now that they have got two days of major working out, my arms do not really enjoy moving, so I shall have to cut my epistle short. Sweet dreams and lots of love.

An apple is a fruit. I have heard tell that I am a fruit. Those people were just influenced by my urge to dance around because the microfiche cabinets finally found their way into our little world. Okay, so I didn't really dance, but I plan to dance with cabinets tomorrow as well as the multitudes of fiche that I will be putting in them.

Nothing of great report has happened to me today. I am currently catching and episode of Cheers before reading a little bit of a good book and slipping into dreamland. Ah, if I could find people to donate money to the Bella Happiness Fund, I wouldn't have to work. Then I could spend my days doing exciting things and reporting back to all my wonderful readers. Maybe someday, but until that time, I shall have to keep telling you about the small excitement in my life.

Although, I do have a note for those looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner. We beat the hokies--this means we get to take them home and pop them in the oven. Wow, that makes me feel so witchy. I am going to call my turkey Hansel, how about you?

Man chases maiden. Maiden does not fall to her knees and worship. Man decides it is too much effort. Maiden goes back to dancing with shadows. Madness sets in. Man envies shadows. Man must make maiden feel jealous. Maiden sees his behavior and laughs. Madness sets in again.

I tire of the games men play. One way or another, they play them. It's all good though because Bella took her little princess game piece off the board. This is not a result of any event, so don't flatter yourself or wrinkle your brow too much. I have just been watching too much television and this is what I see portrayed. Luckily, tomorrow I get to go to work again so that can distract me.

Today, I got to work on one those top secret Bella projects. Someday, I will have to tell you all about them, but I have so much further to go before this one is done. Quite sorry. Just keep wondering and smile for me. I also got to see Miss Kewl. I know you are all envious. Please feel free to express your feelings of love sending wuv letters to fanklubz at meowmail dot com. Yeah, you can translate that, can't you. Have a good one, darlings.

Ah, Saturday, glorious Saturday. Actually it is very early Sunday morning but in the hopes that Sunday has its own events of which to speak, I am posting about Saturday. I had a lovely, too long sleep. I don't know why I sleep so much. Probably prepping for a nice bout of insomnia and midnight love letters to all of you. I finally dragged myself out of bed and scrubbed some things in my house. That is, after all, what the exciting people do with their Saturday mornings.

I proceeded to putz about the house and try to convince myself to do what Bella's do best. No, it is nothing that would really thrill most of you boys out there. Take your tiny heads out of the gutter before they shrivel up and fall off. I would discuss it, but those who know me surely have some clue what it is. *puts her hand up to cover a sardonic smile that is slowly spreading across her face*

After a while, I gave up and entertained my cats by dancing happily about the house and folding clothes. I like to sit on the coffee table and put the item I am clothing in front of me and fold it. Rodney likes to jump up after each item of clothing that I fold and rub his face against my hands. You'd almost think the sweet, little guy loves me unless you saw him happily slumbering on the table at this moment.

After more such great entertainment, I ventured out to see my favorite local band--you guessed it Nak'd Jakob. As always, Chuck, Greg, Steve, and Travis (in alphabetical order to avoid favoritism) put on a great performance, even though the power went out to the sound equipment at one point. I almost got lap dances from a few random guys who mistook their butts for what I wanted to look at. The floor show warmed up when one of the drunk guys threw off his shirt and started dancing on a chair. You can imagine that the band was thrilled. Ironically they were singing a song with the lyrics, "I didn't ask for this" at the time.

The evening culminated with the drunk guys who mistook one corner of the bar for a mosh pit knocking a table at the feet of Bella. Sometimes my admirers really do go to far with the donations. I got to hug the band thereby making my shirt a collector's item (NO, it is not for sale), then it was time for a healthy walk home to my house. Of course, all sorts of fascinating things happened on the way, but you'll have to find out about that later if I feel like chatting:)

I awoke this morning to what I deemed too much light coming through my window. This prompted a mad rush to make sure all the clocks said the same time. Luckily, they did which meant that I was not late. I have been known to reset my clock to be an hour slow when I try to set my alarm (and sometimes I think I do it in my sleep). It's not easy being this whacky, but it definitely keeps life interesting.

At work, I got to shuffle through the shelf list and think about the future of microfiche. I know that all the microfiche appreciate the time and love I put into planning their future. It is rather disconcerting to see them lined up along the walls and glass windows of the group meeting rooms, particularly when you have to walk through the tunnel-o-fiche.

Well, I got this in an e-mail and it told me to send it on. Since most of the beautiful women in my life check in on this lovely journal from time to time, I decided to post it here for all to see. Love ya, ladies. I could list your names, but you know who you are. Sorry, boys, I don't have any love letters for you today.

Another day in which I have accomplished little. I do hope that it doesn't bore you too much to know that I watched television and danced. I also wrote down a little present for all of the well-behaved readers of this journal. These are the moments that we live for, so read on with joy.

The IMPress freezes slowly or so she is told. I was informed that it is very cold in my office today. Luckily my days in Santa's Polar Bear Club have prepared me for such extremes. I seem to be pretty well-adjusted, so don't worry about me too much.

I had no fiches in need of my expertise this morning, so I have been dutifully reading and wishing for fiches. I feel so lonely without those thin, little cards of plastic informative joy. I feel so lonely that I may have to go find a rumor weed to entertain me.

Why this sudden obsession with rumor weeds? Because VeggieTales is the kewlest. It teaches us not to talk about people behind their backs. It teaches us to sing about lips and hairbrushes. It teaches us not to eat our vegetables because they may be Larry or Bob's cousin. We wouldn't want to make Larry or Bob unhappy now would we?

So if you mix my three topics together, you get fiche about frozen vegetables. Then you get to hear the battleship sinking again, followed by a mysterious voice letting us know that we don't need to flee--it is only a test, not a real emergency. Then the little light goes back to blinking in the hopes of giving someone seizures. Or maybe that is just another joy I have had today. If anything else exciting happens, I will let you know.

Okay, that could have been better: here is your complimentary quiz to make up for it. Besides, the Turkey just dropped by and told me that I should convince you all to eat mutton for Thanksgiving. He doesn't seem to realize that you are all my sheepies and I don't want to turn you into cannibals. BE MY SHEEPIES!!!

Which flock do you follow?
this quiz was made by alanna

This is dedicated to the ones I wuv:

There are so many of them floating out there. Some of them probably haven't caught on to how much I care, but that's okay. The studly elf knows that I love her though, so I have not failed completely. She even gave me moral support and critiqued my lesson for me. She's the kewlest:)

I got to read more about being a better Microfiche Queen today. I also got to make some sub-preparations for the great transfer of fiche to happier, newer, more appropriate homes for all my loyal fiche subjects. Great things are happening in our little world everyday. Of course, in order for this to happen, there may some discomfort for our poor defenseless patrons. They will enjoy the obstacle course though.

I also got to provide a fun activity for my friends. In the spirit of the season, we made our very own cornucopias and filled them with "blessings" (by that I mean candy of course--I always feel blessed when I have candy.) Yes, I am getting in the spirit of Thanksgiving.

I am looking forward to another day of turkey roasting and watching the cats go wild. For some reason the smells drive them bonkers and make them beg for food. Then again, they usually beg for food. It must be a favorite pastimes. Anyway, projects of joy await me. I shall return to you later, my darlings.

Ah, more microfiche danced out of cute little envelopes to show me that they care today. I got visit with my work mommy, too. It was truly a banner day. I even got to sneak into the shelf list and wrestle some little cards until they screamed for mercy. Boy did they ever scream for mercy. *cackles maniacally*

Oh, sorry for that random outburst. Now, where was I? We had another merry Mormon luncheon again today. The lovely, lady Shelby's father spoke to us. He's cool--must be hereditary. Unfortunately, I had to flee back to the office before the fiches started a revolution.

Then, I came home to let my mind be corrupted by more television before I decked out in my tackiest apparel. I had to do this in order to be totally ready for the Tacky Dance. We sang, we danced, and most importantly, I had the hottest date there. Bob Hedgehog consented be my date and we danced and danced and I won first prize. Yes, that is right, I can be tacky. That doesn't mean that I am no longer a ravishing beauty, so don't worry. This just means I can accessorise like a delusional three year old.

Most of this glorious Thursday was spent watching La Femme Nikita, the action-packed show for girls who want to kick some booty. It is always great to mix your French with a male Russian name. Besides, her male counterpart has nice long hair and that kind of powerful, self-assurance that I need in a man. I am still accepting applications, but you do have to prove your worth boys, so don't think I have gotten desperate. It will still take a lot of force, coercion, and sweetness to talk my heart out of the lead box in which it is sealed.

I also got to go on another glorious tour of the old library which has been under the power of renovators for about a year now. Some parts were hauntingly familiar while others had been changed completely. Just for public knowledge, the fifth floor won the official "Ugliest Floor in the Building" award. It is hideous. Luckily, it won't be open to the public though I know that breaks your hearts.

Well, I am sure that you are sitting there and wondering about the significance of "towers" in the heading. You are wondering if it is the library or something to do with my television addiction. It has nothing to do with either. I am trapped in the tower, unreachable except by a single path. I can not tell you that path for you must find it yourself. Then you must break the defenses to get inside. They have been reinforced since last someone tried to release me, so don't expect to just walk through the door. My apologies to the hopeful. My apologies for my conceit. No apologies, however, for protecting my heart from the foolishness of this world. Sweet dreams, my darlings.

Wait, wait, wait!!!

Oh, yes, you are just in time to read a less thought-provoking missive from the ever lovable Bella. I know it is still early, but I like to start out my holidays about the time that the advertisements crop up on television. You know that you've already seen Santa and his reindeer and all those adorable, midget elves prancing across your screen. Anyway, to give Santa more time to save up money for my presents:

Dearest Santa,

I know that it has been a long year for you. Climate changes have made the North Pole a little warmer and some of the elves decided to go tan on a newly-discovered North Pole beach instead of working on presents for all the good little girls and boys. I know that Ms. Claus has been suffering from a cookie shortage due to the lack of interest in leaving milk and cookies for you. It really isn't their fault. It is the health-conscious mothers who have told them how fattening and unhealthy cookies are for an old man who must have a heart condition. You have to admit that the reindeer appreciate all those carrots and celery sticks though.

It is these matters that make me timid to type this letter. As I have been a good girl this year, I deign to put forth my list of presents that I wish to find under my invisible tree this year.

1. I would like a printer with good print quality, affordable ink refills, and support under Linux. I know that you understand my admiration for Linux after your horrible loss of information last year due to a random BSOD. Good thing you had Linux to turn to and some elves who can type incredibly fast.

2. I would like dance movies from the 80s on DVD. You know what I am talking about (Footloose, Flashdance, Dirty Dancing, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and other such classics.) If you pick the right ones I may even accept more recent movies of the dance persuasion.

3. I am always game for good belly dancing music. I have a list-serve to refer you to, if you need some input on that subject *smile*.

4. A stuffed Serta sheep would bring me joy. I would settle for the whole set though if you can't just choose.

5. A new desktop that is perfect for installing Linux. Failing that, I can just find my own someday. Linux being the key and I can download that for free.

6. Use your own judgment. You know how flighty IMPresses can be and how often I see shiny things that need to go home with me.

Oh, and, Santa, before I let you go, I have another thing to say. Say hi to Tux for me when he comes to visit and put in a good word. If you ever need a new female midget elf, call on me. I may be a hobbit, but I can pass as and elf if I try. I can send my resumé. Merry Christmas and thanks in advance for all my presents.

Wuv always,

Bella

Another year passes and people come out in droves. It is the sincere hopes that some states have used this day wisely, to test a new ballot that is easy to use. No more punch cards. Those are for hardcore geeks from a bygone era when punch cards were used to write programs that would make the huge brains of the ancestors of the modern computer whir uncontrollably into the night.

These days, we have all been carefully trained to fill in little bubbles. We can "Make your marks heavy and dark and erase any marks that you do not want." We learned this from standardized testing. Five years since my last experience with those words echoing from my young head, I can still hear them in the carefully modulated voices of many teachers. Surely, my less observant classmates caught on, even if their main goal was to draw pictures instead of giving serious answers.

I finished my new pajama bottoms. So now I have spiffy, comfy, plaid pants to lounge, dance, and skip around the house in. I may be addicted to sewing myself fun toys. Either that or I am trying to reduce the amount of random fabric that is floating around my home craft shop. I may have to take a siesta to figure out what I am giving people for Christmas. Don't get too excited--I am poor.

Well, I haven't accomplished much else of interest today, so I will sign off now. However, I would like to leave you with some words of wisdom. Never drink anything that has a higher temperature than your body. Never lie to an IMPress. Don't scream too loud when the cat jumps on your back, it attracts the rest of them.

Another exciting day in the life of Bella--seamstress, goddess, lady, humorist, gourmet, crazy cat chica, and everything a man could ever need--is slowly drawing to a close. I woke up this morning with the realization that I really am entirely perfect, and this morning I was a perfect popsicle. Luckily, the cats ran over me repeatedly to revive me. I wrestled my air conditioner out of the window and went about my Saturday morning ritual.

I redistributed my wealth of litter to trash cans and more happy places. Then I vacuumed my carpet and scrubbed some dishes. I also started the creation of beautiful pajama pants. They will be lovely, flannel creations when I am done. All the other sleepers will be so envious that they will get insomnia. Then my dear friends, the Serta sheep, will have some work and won't have to live off of our tax money anymore.

Then some friends and I got together and went to see a film. With a title like My Big, Fat Greek Wedding, how could it go wrong? Everyone wants to have a big wedding with lots of partying and this movie definitely gives some tips on how to make that happen. I could say more, but I may ruin it for all the magical movie-goers who have not yet got up the courage to experience this for themselves. Have a lovely sleep with Serta sheep.

The dawn of a new month does not renew the world in which we live. The great circle in which people try to deceive me and only succeed in deceiving themselves and then blame me for their unhappiness continues. If this statement makes you think I am talking about you, perhaps you should look into yourself and realize that it is because I know what I am talking about. I know that you were all expecting a big production from me in celebration of the great candy celebration, but I just never got around to it.

I was busy being the beautiful goddess that you all know and love. Decked out in a dress that could easily pass as a wedding dress, I floated along the streets of fear. I think the Joker may have checked me out in passing. Then again, that man is always smiling, so I could be wrong.

Today, I got the joy of filing more microfiche. After a while, all those long numbers swim together and you start swimming too. You swim in a cloudy world where no microfiche exist and the clouds taste like cotton candy. The rivers run with fresh juice and the grass underfoot tastes like whatever you want it to. When you wake up, your head is buried in a drawer full of old microfiche in yellowing envelopes and you have to make sure you haven't acquired some fiche cuts.

I also got to have delicious chili and corn bread. Then I did some more work and returned to my home where a little bit of late Halloween scaring happened. Butterflies were disgraced by a man dressed as one. This would not have been so bad except her was a particularly scary type of butterfly. Those of you with hotmail understand. Time for me to go clean my house and sneak into bed. Sweet dreams and lots of love.