Sweeping out of the sky on new downy wings, the baby phase of the new year has begun. I brought in the new year with some gorgeous ladies and some gorgeous guys. We traveled many miles to go dancing at a Gaga Gala in the Galleria in Washington, DC. That's right, we went to Washington, DC to find a wholesome way to bring in the New Year--no alcohol, no smoke, no random disturbing visions on the floor. Okay, there may have been a few disturbing visions, but I have seen much worse.

I only got to dance with three men--too bad for the rest of them. I got to dance with Googliebear and his brother, as well as a fascinating elf creature. Yes, picture the cute hobbit dancing with a tall elf. No, he was a little taller than that. Better! I am glad that Googliebear and his brother took my harassment without running and screaming. I may have to reward them with cookies--everyone loves cookies.

I didn't get a New Year's kiss, but that would be the loss of the boy who wanted to ask but shied away. I am not feeling the loss. Six more years of this and my lips can be happy virgins again. Will I make it? I could make it a resolution for this year, but in review, I have accomplished 4.5 of my resolutions from last year, so I stand a better chance of kisslessness without doing so. What should I resolve to do? Well, let's see.

Lying awake, so tired but unable to enter that land where dreams beckon from around every corner, I sometimes find words slipping unbidden from my lips. Among these words and phrases is the continuing echo, "I love you." No face fills my mind and no name inserts itself on either end of the phrase. I wonder if perhaps I am losing what is left of my mind or if I am speaking to someone from deep within my subconscious.

Perhaps, it is me to whom I confess my love. I am often accused of being hard or cruel to myself. I know, however, that no matter how harsh my comments may be, I do care about myself and respect me. I may not always believe I am beautiful, but some nights when the moon comes out and I find a moment of quiet, I gaze into these eyes in the mirror and see the beauty that is trapped behind all my false faces, barriers, and jokes. I see the woman that no one else has ever accepted and loved when I showed her to them.

My words could also be thrown out to some mysterious man. A man who somewhere in the world who awaits the day that we shall meet. Perhaps, he is lying awake, staring into nothingness and he hears my words like a caress creeping over him. Maybe, the same phrase comes forth with as much feeling and confusion in his voice, echoing quietly but never quite reaching me.

Who I love or may fall in love with is not important right now. I have come to this realization. It is how much I respect the people in my life already that really matters. It also matters how I show that respect, so to those who feel I have been unfair to them, I am sorry. However, you can not hold me accountable for all the wrongs in your life, nor can you hold me accountable for things that I have done which hurt you if you did not inform me that they had such a reaction.

Onto other things. Today was an uneventful one. I got my first good sleep of the new year and squeezed in a couple of hours of work. I then returned home and watched more television, made some munchies from some stuff in my fridge and later I intend to immerse myself in my love letter to myself. Someday, I might explain that one, but there has already been enough talk of love. Keep dancing, darlings.

Well, I can out you all to sleep with details of my day. Basically, I peeled stickers off of microfiche and played delivery girl. All sorts of fun is to be had in that. A terrible headache has been haunting me and thus my love letter has not grown in leaps and bounds as I had hoped. To add to the excitement, the world seems to be crumbling around many of my friends and I am just not in the right frame of mind to listen or offer comfort. It happens from time to time and they always make sure that I feel guilty even if they are the same way to me when I am sliding down the cliff. Oh well, we're all a little self-centered.

It occurs to me how far I have come in the past year. I have been much better about being a good little girl. I can't claim to be a saint, but I would say there has been a marked improvement (New Year harassment of boys being one of my faults). Now is the time to let go of some emotional baggage and move forward.

I have spent the day writing my love letter and other various fun things. It has reached 38 pages of pure love. I also baked a cake for a pot luck tomorrow. I love cake, especially chocolate cake with frosting. It will be yummy. I will gain more holiday weight. The taste of chocolate is worth it.

I also updated my website a little. I added my Harem Page so that people can go there and ponder the joys of joining the harem and becoming closer to Bella. You know you want to be part of my harem, and if you don't, we all know it is because you are afraid you will be outclassed by my other harem members. Anyway, sweet dreams.

More presents seem to be rolling in as I prognosticated. I got more lotion and body wash--so I can smell good for all the boys. I also got some diamond earrings from my mother. Of course, they aren't real diamonds. After all, my mother knows that I am the only gem I need.

Snow seems to have scared away happy shiny people from visiting with me and some cookies and cake. I found this disappointing, but I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt on the icy roads. Luckily, some missionaries happened by and accepted chocolaty donations to their day.

I worked today, as always. It always amazes me how much I accomplish when I am there. As long as the work keeps pouring in though, I have nothing to worry about. Tomorrow I get to go to my other department and start doing some clean-up in preparation for a big project that I will be working on once we move. That's right, we are finally moving into the renovated library--woowho. Okay, that is the excitement in my life. Sweet dreams.

Waking up to a snow-encased world, I threw myself at some clothes. Luckily, my clothes caught me and found there way around me. If they had not, imagine my embarrassment as I wandered slowly down the hill, becoming a huge popsicle that eventually becomes a very large, half-nekkid lawn gnome on some unsuspecting persons sidewalk. Now picture the looks on their faces when they walk out to find all the people staring at their interesting new decoration. Let's stop picturing that, my flannel shorts feel like they are being stared at.

I then faced the crucial question: Where am I going? Walking down the hill seemed so natural, but as we are in the process of moving back into the renovated library. I realized as I wandered past that I am going to have yet another window with a great view of people walking past. I am a lucky little impress this month. I also get more shelves to fill with papers and notebooks and all sorts of other fun stuff that I may need during the course of my day.

Of course, the new high point of my day was visiting with my fellow dancing beauties. We got together to practice our moves. We got a little help from the "evil twins". Ah, to dance is to dream--in a manner of speaking. Well, speaking of dreams, I am off to chase some more. Sweet ones to you.

It was another beautiful days in the trenches. I have met my job security and it is called microfiche. I won't bore you with details, I will just tell you that every piece of microfiche in the building is going to have been touched by me before this year is through. Well, almost all of it. The people upstairs will chop off my hands if I run off with their microfiche. (Well, maybe they aren't that violent, but I don't want to risk it.)

I got to pick out some new microforms organizers though, which always makes your day better. Oh, and the best thing, they sunk my battleship. I got to go wandering out in the cold because the battleship sunk, the library caught on fire, or they were testing the system again. Sad that I don't have much else to talk about.

Oh, BTW, I have a special treat for all my readers. I know that you have been looking forward to this for many moons. I got myself a guest book, so you can finally profess your love for me to the world. Of course, no one can compete with my love letter to me that is thirty-eight pages long at this moment. Please don't try--I don't want to lose my guest book before I have had it for a long, long time. Not much else is going on right now, but if the sky starts falling, I will let Chikin' Little come update my page and let you know about it.

Some days I reflect and I feel her coming out--the poet wrapped and twisted around my soul. She is not a poet of rhyme, but a poet of thoughts. These thoughts twist and undulate, dancing and screaming to break free. They want to come forth, to dance across this page in text. They want to weave a tapestry that will enchant the viewer and suck them into a land where dreams become reality and myths become truth.

So on this day I let the poet come forth and weave a poem in prose. Some write such things to become more than they are. They philosophize to make themselves more than they are and attain things they do not want. I find myself lost in these thoughts trapped by me. I am Bella, IMPress of fate, lover of men (regardless of e-mail addresses posted in my guest book--to quote a friend from my trip to DC, "I had no idea you liked men this much."), needer of love, giver of peace, hopeless romantic, and so much more that even the most vaunted words can not describe.

Each dawn brings me awake, pulling me from clouds of sweet sleep into the cold dawn. Even snuggling back under the covers does not quite take the chill from my heart, for I know I must rise and step out into the crystal cold of morning. Refreshing yet tomb-like, the cold air washes over me as I step out into the world. I am pulled into the morning mist and downward on my way to the monolith of knowledge. In that monolith, I find the purpose to my life wrapped in plastic and paper. In choosing to do my job, I do the one thing we must all do, I choose to just be me.

Obviously, I got more sleep than I needed last night. It makes me wonder why I woke up so grumpy and yelled at my cat who was clawing some random thing in my room. I need to get his royal fluffiness a new scratching post sometime. Then, perhaps, I will not be awakened so rudely. I already have a shopping list of great size, but still not enough money to do much besides pay my bills. So if you want to send me money, let me know and I will go out and get a Pay-Pal account.

Once more the waiting game begins. We wait patiently to be moved into our new workspace. It seems that we spend a lot of time doing that this year, but soon it will all be over. We will all have our private cubicles with work piling up on our new desks and the sweet atmosphere of the library lulling us all into happiness.

I also came home and answered my phone. I answered it over and over and over and over. Some days, you are just popular. Some days people just want to ask you questions. I am not telling which one is the truth in this case. Anyway, kids, have a good one and keep smiling.

The sky opened up and poured out snow this morning. Of course, it didn't last long enough to cover the ground in a fluffy white blanket. Not that I am complaining--it made a nice layer of ice on my stairs. That should keep me moving at a high rate of speed as I bounce down those stairs on my butt tomorrow. If I plan for it, it won't happen, right?

I spent the day doing various exciting things with microfiche. I would go into detail, but I don't need to make this the official site for insomniacs. I know they all need a cure for their sleeplessness, but I can not carry that burden on my shoulders. They are being overburdened by two cats who need love, food, and cookies. Maybe they don't need cookies, but that doesn't keep them from thinking that they do when I am crunching away on one of those delicious, sugary morsels.

Well, my world is not being stirred into excitement. I think I shall go stir some up with a circle skirt and a veil. Maybe if I let my mind rest for a bit and give my body a workout, I can come back and work on my now famous love letter. Ah, Bella, dance until your dreams come out!!!

I am writing this at a much earlier hour than usual in the hopes of calling out my muse. No great movie or entertaining show seems to be on the television to poison my mind and give me an excuse to not work on my love letter, so I am trying to work on it. My muse has snuck off to eat chocolate and bath in cool, mountain streams, however, so I am left with so few words to bring my love to life.

It has been an exciting day other than that. I woke up early and walked through the wet puddles that my brother's boots left on my floor. At first, I was afraid they might be nasty donations from my cat, but the dirt puddled into them convinced me otherwise. Then I proceeded to clean up the puddles, wash my ever growing pile of dishes and vacuum the Rodney fluff off of my carpet. When the carpet turns gray instead of green, it is a good indication that I need to do so.

Then Shelby, just Shelby as she has rejected all of my best attempts to give her a code name, dropped by. She needed a hobbit to watch LoTR with, and I am the world's coolest hobbit (next to Sam). On our way to the theater, after scouting out some candy in the dollar store, we met a gentleman named Kelly who decided to join us. He had the unfair disadvantage of not being a hobbit who is up on hobbit lore, so I don't believe he enjoyed the movie as much as Shelby and I did.

I assure you that it was as much worth watching the second time around. I fear I may have irritated the people around me as I tried to bring our companion up on hobbit lore to a point where he would know what was going on. We oohed, we ahhed, we worshiped warriors like Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas, we giggled at Frodo's puppy, and enjoyed every moment of hobbit stardom. Maybe, I am just speaking for myself, but this is Bella's journal and not Bella and her friends' journal, after all. Sorry, guys, I love you but I only have enough time and energy to type for one. Back to the drawing board. I will let you know if any more excitement falls into my lap.

It's disturbing when you realize that you really are two different people. You are the person that you are and the person that you feel safe showing to the world. My Bellaness isn't part of my everyday life and perhaps I should try to change that. After all, Bella is a lot more interesting than the chick who keeps pushing her glasses up on her nose while trying to type with one hand. Not that the geek girl behind the love goddess doesn't rock in her own way.

I went to church. That is, after all, what I do on Sunday mornings. The lessons were beyond compare, but you have to hear them straight from the source to understand. Well, not much else is going on, check back later for more input into the life of Bella.

Wake up to the morning and stretch. Then your arms can be clawed by the first admirers of the morning. My dear kitties love to make sure I get out of bed in time to smooch them, pet them, and feed them before I slide out into the cold. Sadly, work was not quite as entertaining as it could be. I still slog through the joy that is microfiche.

I came home and colored myself some cookies. God loves me. Cookies love me. I wanted them to both brighten my day today. If you don't understand, it's because you missed out. I then went to hang out with my friends at the smiley place. At some point I turned on my cloak of invisibility. I am good at that. Sadly, I can not always turn it off, so I am standing there flailing my arms and screaming at the top of my lungs and the only person who can see me is that incredibly perceptive waiter behind the bar. In deference to how I now feel:

Some days I wake up. I look out and see the sun shining. I feel the warmth of a fuzzy little body pressed to mine. I feel loved. I have no reason to be sad. I have no real reason to feel like I have lost something without which I can not go on.

Regardless of the joy and the happiness that should course through the very depths of my veins, I feel as if I stand once more at the brink of my own passing. No worries about that--after all, I have to live until I am at least 85. It is one of my life's goals to have my own floor in an insane asylum at that age. However, it feels that I have slipped away. Some time between my birth and now, a part of me died and on days like today--I miss her.

Oh well, the world will still spin and I will smile at you anyway should you pass me today. Tomorrow I will wake up and I will not feel so glum. I will probably even bounce all the walls with my normal enthusiasm and excitement. After all, tomorrow I will be with the fiche who love me. They never try to foist me off on each other. The fact that they are inanimate probably has something to do with it, but I still find it comforting.

Today, I have hefted heavy books from book trucks back to the old metal shelves that we moved them from over a year ago. I have organized my space and posted the Articles of Faith, so that I can look up at them from time to time. I have posted my Over the Hedge comics of choice where they can remind me that no one really wants the answer to some questions, water balloons are temptations of fate, and one must suffer to write a novel. I have set up my phone so that it can ring if anyone ever needs me. I have also eaten too much chocolate and too little food.

I finally ate. I had dinner at the Outback--ah, steak. It was quite satisfying. I am still rather mopey though, so I will let you go. Try to think happy thoughts and fly away with Peter Pan (the boy who looks like a woman).

Another day in which I wake up and think, "Which is more annoying: the cats or the alarm." I have concluded that the alarm is more annoying, but the cats are more effective. Nothing can rouse you out of bed like a swift bite from tiny, sharp teeth--except maybe a bucket of ice water, but no one I know is that stupid.

Well, after that beautiful wake-up call, I went to work. Just like any other day, I went to work. I slid down the hill on the ice, bundled up in my corduroys and a sweatshirt so I could experience the joy of the barcodes. I photocopied quite a few of them. Yes, my life has reached a new level of excitement. And it reached that without microfiche. Don't gasp too loudly, you will wake up the person next to you.

I also lost my mind for a few minutes and laughed so hard that my poor tummy hurt. I don't think I have ever done that before. I really must control these outbursts, but sometimes it feels so good to laugh. Anyway, with a meeting and some snow, not much else of interest came forth. Smile and make your own joy every day.

This ocean of pain rolls over me again
Smothering and burying, I can not win
Trapped by love for everyone but me
Wrapped around so many fingers for eternity
Twisted and broken, torn in a thousand parts
But never my image burned into their hearts
I am funny and useful, sometimes a bit fun
But when this ocean rumbles I am the only one
Who tries to pull me from the ocean's brine
Onto coarse sand, and this heart of mine
Weeps slowly in the twilight, as my flesh tears
And none sees past the false smile, my face wears

Pulled under by waves of sorrow
My heart beats into tomorrow
A day I am not sure I wish to see
But I know it will dawn on me
And find me lying with wet cheeks
My mind fleeing to what it seeks
In dreams that conquer and foretell
Infinite sadness, pain too much to tell
And someday washed upon the shore
Will be this woman, an emotional whore
Who dared too care far too much
For people whose hearts she couldn't touch
Used up and wasted in attempting to be
The friend of all, even the enemy
Whose daggers sank into her very soul
Seeing nothing until it took its toll
And the angel died and demons arose
And it is only the evil anyone now knows

I must apologize for that outburst. Sometimes the woman behind the keyboard mistakes herself for a poet. She is just silly, isn't she? Not much of interest is going on around here. The Oxygen channel is shaking up show times so that I never know when to turn it on to watch women kicking butt. That in and of itself is the excitement in my world right now. Anyway, to save you time, I am going to go back to being worshiped by the beautiful men in my life. Sweet dreams.

I was looking forward to my first dance class of the season. It is all the fault of the Christmas snow that has been sleeping for almost a month and finally woke up and fell down to the earth. This resulted in me missing an opportunity to publicly humiliate myself. Besides, its been a while since I had some dance instruction. We all know that it helps to have some informed criticism after all.

Anyway, I must be less Bella-ish offline. People aren't as understanding of my jokes and my random comments in the real world. In short, people should let me know when I say things that worry, scare, or offend them. This leads to more comments being made. One more resolution for me: I shall try to be more lady-like. After all, only IMPresses get by with being obnoxious and lady-like at the same time. Keep smiling, darlings.

Yes, the season of love is coming up, so I have a special article to help you get ready for the season. I am, as always, expecting tons of love letters from foreign countries. If I am lucky, the Mormon man of my dreams will come waltzing out of Utah and into my life, but I am certainly not holding my breath. Well, I will hold my breath if some handsome man e-mails or calls me to tell me that blue is my color.

So I spent another day with the microfiche and really old books. You already know how thrilling that is. My goals for the rest of the evening are limited to cleaning my house and writing myself love letters. Now if all the handsome men would get over their nervousness and write long letters of love and longing, they would free up so much time for me to spend with them. Have a good one.

On my way home, I stopped to reflect a couple of times. The first was beside a clump of dirty snow that oddly resembled a penguin. We all know how I feel about penguins. They are colored simply yet dressed elegantly. They can petrify anyone who has the misfortune to be below them as they take a belly slide down a hill of ice. More importantly, one of them has graced many a box full of Linux software with his image. Only a penguin would find joy in making its way through the snow in weather so cold that your cheeks feel like icicles, and you are not sure that most of your extremities still exist.

My second moment of reflection came when I passed a solitary card in the snow. It was the ten of hearts, which got me thinking about Valentines, penguins, and hobbits. I know it was some stumbling drunk who dropped the card in the snow, but picture for a moment that it is something more. Okay, that moment has passed.

Of course, all of this enlightenment came after an exciting day of work. I slapped barcodes on microfiche. I talked some of them into revealing their real names, not to mention their real call numbers. I also got check my e-mail and realize that I don't get a lot of e-mail at work. Someday, I will get on the big list in the sky. Then I will get all the heavenly mail about being the perfect librarian. Well, I can see that you are drifting off, so sleep well and smile a little.

Miss Kewl is playing my song. It's all about the happy, shiny people that I know and love. That would seem to be the theme for my day. I woke up early this morning and threw myself into the shower. The cats screamed to try and stop me from tormenting myself. The screaming annoyed me but be assured that I finished my shower. After all, shiny people usually don't smell funny.

I putzed around for a bit and then rushed down the hill to work. Dusty old census books were waiting for me. You wouldn't believe the deterioration that a hundred and twenty years can cause on a spine. You would also not believe how much funky-smelling orange dust can be produced by one leather binding. These are the joys of my day.

I then meandered up the hill, becloaked and velvet-gloved to traumatize poor, defenseless men. One of them is after all my husband (only on Monday nights, but he still has to feel the shame the rest of the week). If you don't know, I wouldn't ask it's just a weird, shiny people thing. So after that, I hurried home and cleaned my house, cooked some food, fed my cats, and noted that I really am getting quite the hobbit belly. Six meals a day will do that to you. I may have to cut back to five. Well, I have some dead time and a huge love letter to proofread and add on to. Sweet dreams and lots of love.

It has been a great day for me. I have had so much free time that I might just keel over from boredom. Perhaps that explains why I am sinking into the world of Shallow Hal. It was that or a movie I have seen a dozen times before or the chick flick on the Oxygen channel. Don't worry, I won't be too corrupted by it. I am reading through the archives of megatokyo, so that I know what Mezon is talking about when he compares me to Seraphim.

I guess there is a vague resemblance. She has kitties and a Giant Space hamster. More importantly, she seems to be full of advice. Okay, its all about her pets and those awesome wings. I want to fly. I am also almost short enough to sit on someone's shoulder.

I also spent some time with my love letter. It isn't covered in as many scribbles as I expected. Maybe I will be able to over criticize my masterpiece later. In the meantime, I have paper to play with and movies to watch.

A blank piece of paper unfolds before me
No words, no pictures, no life do I see
But my mind is afire with words, I must
Though they fade and waver in my sight
Truths that I know but lack strength to say
Can I make my feelings known this way
Can my readers be inspired to see through my jest?
Can they open up and see all the rest?
Can they see the tears shed in my pain
Does any visualize a girl in the rain
Letting it wash the tears from my face?
Would any remember my heart's empty space?
When I tried to forsake what I know to be true?
Most important--can you imagine how I care for you?

I titled yesterday's entry that way for a reason, but I never got around to it. Have you ever found yourself looking into a mirror at yourself and assessing yourself two seconds before you realized it was you. I did that yesterday. Color me surprised if for a second there, I almost liked what I saw. No accounting for taste though.

Anyway, I went to church as usual on Sunday. Not much that my faithful readers would want to read about. Tomorrow night should be lots of fun. I am getting together with my "family" and having a wonderful party. At least, I hope it is a wonderful party. Well, nothing more to see here, so I will let you go.

Winter weeps
My soul keeps
Searching pages
Lost for ages
Now renewed
Faith imbued
In my heart
By words, in part,
By those who show
Love, they know

Winter weeps
My body sleeps
Comforting snow
Wild winds blow
Love falls
My heart calls,
In sleep, to one
Whose only son
Gave us peace
By love's release

Okay, I haven't been too funny lately. Nor have I told you a lot about the joy of my days. For instance, did I mention that I watched half of the halftime show yesterday? I liked Shania's coat. Of course, I would have worn more under it, but I am a rebel--a rebel clothes wearer.

Perhaps, it is the cold that has frozen up my humor gland. I have blamed the cold for many things over time. Like the fact that after walking through the snow to work this morning, I could no longer feel my feet. I also like to blame it for making it apparent that I am alive. After all, when it is warm out, people can't see my breath wafting out into the air. Not that I aspire to be mistaken for a vampire and staked into the ground. I haven't done that for about three years. Wow. Time does fly when you are having fun.

Ah memories--heehaw. One of the last times I remember playing Vampire with my friends, I bumped into a guy I went to high school with. I know it was around this time of year because I wished him a happy b-day and his b-day is tomorrow. Anyway, being that I am natural beauty, that was one of the rare times you would see me in make-up. He's so sweet that he noticed and asked me if I was dressed up for Halloween. No wonder, he was one of my fellow honor grads. Anyway, enough about Bella as a vampire.

Bella spent another lovely day with the microfiche. She also got to visit with infamous barcodes and stampers. Yes, her days remain exciting. In fact, she even came up with her own fashion rebel line of clothes. We are all patiently awaiting her partner in rhyme Fat Laura Kewl's new rap song featuring Bodacious B and the Lypsynk Khorus as well as Kewl Fashions. Stay tuned for more on those situations.

Late Night Updates: Yes, I am about to slip into my bed and find my way to dreamland. I wanted to let you all know that Mormon Mommy Mondays are such fun. The only way I will ever get a guy to let me call him hubbie *wink*. I got to meet with my family and shovel even more sugar into myself. Hopefully, the buzz wears off so I can sleep. Have some sweet dreams and feel free to smile a little.

The mirror cracks and fades away
Another image arises today
Giving birth anew
To the beauty inside of you
You open your eyes and see
Their richness, depth, beauty
Reflected back, the mirror cracks
Not for any beauty your face lacks
So much beauty, glass can not hold
Now believe what once they told
For all compliments are backed
By a mirror thus cracked.

*The poet stretches and rises from her chair, commencing to dance to some music only in her head. She is graceful yet shy. All alone, she circles the room, veils seeming to appear from nowhere that she flutters about herself. The door opens and suddenly she crumples, veils caressing her face as they follow her down. The one who enters does not know what grace they missed.*

Anyway, it's another lovely day with stickers. Barcode stickers are everywhere--on me, the monitor, the floor, the desk, the chair, the microfiche. They're everywhere and they are taking over, but tonight they shall not come with me. I shall break out and dance (until my teacher looks my way). I get to dance with pseudo-sister and company. Hmmm, odd thought--My Monday Mormon Man is my pseudo-sister's brother-in-law. I guess I really am a hick *wink*. That is as close as I intend to get to "keeping it in the family." I love my family--just not in that way.

I am typing these wonderful words of love during my lunch--that is how much I love you. I know that you love me too because my interview about my new clothing line (posted yesterday, alluded to earlier in the month) has barely been published and another one has already been requested. Before you know it, papers across the world will be talking about me. That would be bad though. I am not sure I have a deep desire for fame. Fame can be cruel.

Well, I still have a half hour of lunch. Perhaps, I will finally get a little more work done on my love letter to me. Someone has to write me one. Of course, if you want to write me one, too, send it on over to fanklubz@meowmail.com. I will let you know if anything new and interesting develops, or if any of my admirers finally come out of hiding.

Ah, the first night of my new dance class. I am definitely feeling it, especially since my beautiful arms have not been a frame in forever. Yes, I am a wuss. Someday, I will have to get over this. I also got to fill myself with Chinese food. So now my tummy is aching a bit from two directions. Anyway, it is time to go off and meet the midnight dance of sleep. Sweet dreams.

Some days it is just not easy living the life of a respected and much needed star is almost too much to bear. I woke up this morning and threw myself into some clothes. I pulled my hair back so it couldn't choke me to death and slipped down the hill on the mushy mixture of snow, ice, and rain that covered the sidewalks. This always leads to happiness and contentment in an early morning Bella.

You'll never guess what I did when I got to work. That's right--I played with my microfiche. I have so many children from my church friends to my baby kitties to my feeshies that some days I am not sure how I keep them all in diapers;) Anyway, Miss Kewl kept appearing out of nowhere. I think I have a famous stalker, or, perhaps, it was all part of our secret plan to finish our new rap melody. You may just have to wait to find out about that one.

After that I came home to have my hour of repose with my dirty house and La Femme Nikita. I also thought some more about how I can help the love-challenged woo that special someone in the upcoming holiday season. So it was not a wasted hour for my many loyal fans. Then it was on the run again to a chick party. We talked about music and happy, shiny homes. Ah, to find that moment of peace. Perhaps, I shall do that now. Enjoy your evening.

Some days, it strikes more than others that I work at the zoo. I look up and see all the little zoo animals walking by. The Smokies are inhaling smoke into their lungs while their fingers are freezing. The Phonies are chatting away on their cell phones as they walk between classes. The Sloths shuffle along at their own maddening pace, making the Cheetahs run past them at top speed to escape. The Peekers peer into the huge window next to my desk and realize that nothing of interest lies behind the glass--just a woman in what looks like a Catholic school girl's outfit playing with fiche. Wait, some of them do find that interesting, so they join the Smokies, standing outside in the cold wondering about the weirdos within.

This can only entertain me for so long, so I continued to work. More microfiche got the joy of my touch. Someday the fiche will start a Fiche Fan-club for Bella. Then the world will rejoice. We need as many fan clubs for me as we can get after all--they spread humor, wuv, and poetry. All of these are important to the future of the world as we know it.

As it was payday, I could finally buy a few toys for my babies. I bought them a new scratching post--laced with catnip. This resulted in two adorable balls of fur rolling around in the floor and remembering their kittenhood. Now I am back to my love letter which has not grown very much in the past week. Perhaps, it will be ready for me by Valentine's Day. Ah, just imagine my joy when I open it and start reading:)