Despite, successfully not kissing any boys who offer, mainly because the tempting ones have still not been completely convinced of my kiss-ability, someone can still get some hobbit kisses from me. I am so excited that I may just sing. Well, perhaps not, but I am quite happy about this. Much happier than I was to be greeted by the local pop station. I think I could have handled it. I could have even handled the Jessica Simpson song since I have tendencies to be hopelessly romantic. The problem was that it was not quite on the station, so I got gratuitous static and the music really sounded bad.

When that disturbance was over, I unfolded my mean mutant skills on behalf of books of the world. I got to look at some intriguing pictures of meat and cotton. Apparently, some folks in Mississippi did some research on how things affect these two fascinating products, such as different feeding methods and amount of boron. And people thought I could not be full of more useless knowledge. Ha, I am the queen of worthless knowledge.

My evening was dominated by the joy of script writing. Five people with fifty ideas or more each, trying to write one little play. Picture it. Imagine the fun. We all came out alive. We allegedly have a first draft. Our secretary gets to add his own lovely flare to it. We'll see how it goes. More on that later. In the meantime, I shall explore the joy of costuming. Many many recall that I was the costume princess for the comedy theater. With luck, we may even get to reuse some of my previous creations. (Or I could start a costume shop. After all, I can always use a little extra money--can't we all? Just working on breaking even right now.) Anyway, I'll save my philosophy for another time, It's time chase down the man and steal his sand.

I seem to like making people read lyrics. It may be because I have nothing to say, but it is more likely because I have nothing to say that anyone wants to hear. Color me bizarre. So it has been another lovely day. I woke up and went to work where I realized that I have a three day weekend coming to me. Of course, the weekend is already shot and booked up, so no random relaxation for me.

My father desperately wants to buy me a car, so after about a year, I have finally consented to let him do so. This means any money donated to my hippie van fund will probably go to buying gas or paying insurance--still incredibly useful to me, darlings, so please donate. Anyway, he is going to come up and have me help him find something tomorrow. I don't know what he is thinking. My knowledge of cars is limited to the fact that too many of them are white and I don't like green. Other than that, I don't know how much input I can give. Hybrids look rather sexy according the hippie magazine I have been receiving, but somehow I don't think they have a hybrid hippie van, so I am going to cross my arms and look pissy.

Then I have church on Sunday, which also happens to be the fourth. I believe I am invited to try and blow myself up in the huge field behind my friend's parents' house. I wouldn't trust me with a lighter and fireworks most days, but I probably suffer from paranoia. I could find out, but I have no interest in paying someone to tell me I am crazy and need to come in twice a month to talk to them about it. *shakes head* I have better ways to deal with my lunacy, like molesting fabric. I really need to get on top of that because I have about 20 half-finished projects of that nature. Not this weekend though.

Monday is looking pretty clear though. I may just be able to convince myself to accomplish some of my goals. That is dependent on whether or not the other four people in my house mistake me for entertainment. Some days I think the cats and my roomie need to get hobbies of their own. Other days, I wonder why I keep waking up with a fat, white beast snuggled up to me, and a tabby deflating at the foot of the bed. I guess we can all be socially unadjusted together. Well, I should stop rambling in order to at least pretend to accomplish things.

So I got up early and snuck into the laundry room. That is where all of the action is early on Sunday mornings. Looking out the window, I saw that the park was shrouded in mist again. The mist always brings out the philosopher in me, but I shall silence her this evening or I may never be done with this.

I somehow lucked out and my father didn't drag me around to inspect cars. He did call and give me an update on the great search though. So I did accomplish some things today. I worked on my famous quilt--the one I am sewing by hand that I started way back in November. It keeps getting bigger and bigger like my cat when I feed him as much as he wants. Of course, eventually this will be finished and no longer growing larger. Even better, it may be a nice accent to the famous Murder Mystery. I know you're all getting excited about coming to that already. It is supposed to be sometime in October, so you can see me in two different genres of entertainment.

I also squeezed in a nap and some time with the hairy beasts. Then I went out and bought the Garfield cartoons, so I could feel even more love for hairy beasts. How could you not adore a short, chubby man who likes to eat (though I prefer the name Sam). Of course, for fairy tale love, I prefer a completely different sort. I would hate to give any of my readers the wrong impression. There is only one super hero to whisk me away on his white horse. Intriguing thought, eh? Anyway, sweet dreams and a happy fourth.

The flame touches the wick of the roman candle and seconds later, a fuzzy-footed festivity felon is soaring across the sky. Of course, letting go before the candle explodes is critical. This is why the hobbit in question must wear a parachute. Of course, timing is particularly critical in this situation as it requires an awfully big roman candle to get a chubby little hobbit cutie off the ground.

Well, that isn't actually the story of my day. I opted to go to church and my roomie opted to head to our friends' house muy early. You sometimes have to make such decisions. In my case, it is usually best to just avoid people on holidays. Not that such a thing works. I have spent most of the day on the phone advising a friend. This fell between my many naps and other random phone calls. Needless to say--it was an uneventful day and thus far, this weekend has been completely not how I planned it. Ah, the best laid plans of cat ladies and hobbits. Anyway, nothing more to see here Go to bed.

It's been quite the three day weekend. No, the quilt is not finished. I got distracted by a veil that wanted to be breathed into life. Yes, a veil to dance with--not a wedding veil. My fireworks have not been set off yet, but I have faith and hope that Mr. Right will eventually realize what it means to truly be loved--by me! No one can love as truly as the goddess of love, but that is not something I need to discuss with anyone on this forum. So anyway, this veil is actually white with silver trim. I am hoping it looks as lovely when finished as it does in my head.

I also got to go play in a sporting goods' store. I had quite a bit of fun in the pool section. They had a delicious looking crab named Cookie. She was maroon with darling little red hearts on it. I almost brought her home, but I know that she is meant to bring great joy to some cute little child. I also saw a bright orange hippo in the clearance bin. Had that hippo been pink, that hippo would have gone for a little dip with me this evening. I am biased toward pink hippos--after all.

I also got to see Spiderman 2. I enjoyed it. Some parts dragged, but you have that with any movie. They also set it up for the third movie--always good of them to do so. It did cut out a couple of hours out of my crafty creations, but it was worth it. Of course, now I feel an urge to shoot webs out of my wrist, but I don't believe I am Spiderwoman. I did see a preview for Catwoman. I could so be Catwoman---mrrrow!

I also got to visit with my friend Laura--not Miss Kewl, sorry. I did have the honor of talking to the kewl one this evening, but she was not emotionally ready for FHE. Anyway, I got to play lots of Boggle and tell some wonderful tales of terror. In other words, I talked about scary men from my past and random roommates (the same thing really---*shudder*). I am told I have a great shudder. I don't think even my shudder could express the horror of some of the people I have met and tried to befriend, but I shall not discuss that. I really need to set aside the past so I can move on. Hence my wild string of trash tossing I have dealt with lately. Some day, I may even finish some of the projects I have unearthed in this endeavor. I can definitely fill my time with things besides bitterness and hate. This is always good. In the meantime, I have some things to work on a bit before I sneak into bed. Sweet dreams.

Some days you just feel like dancing. Of course, it can sometimes be an arduous task to select the right dance, so I shall help you out. Here are some dance ideas for hobbits and librarians.

The Barcode Bounce: Designate a certain step to go with each number (0-9), thus you will have ten steps. Select a random barcode and do the appropriate moves for each number on it. Repeat until weary or add another barcode to mix things up.

The Short Step: This dance is easy for us short folks, but creates a challenge for the tall. Dance as you feel inspired, but make sure your feet are never further than a foot apart.

The Tattle-Tape Tango: Practice tangoing with a piece of tattletape in your mouth instead of a rose. To get input on your progress, tango through a sensor.

The Food Allude: Remove chairs from around the table. Dance to the table. Pass movements around the table, designating a certain step or move for a certain item. For instance, to drink a glass of milk, one has to twirl gracefully before reaching for the glass and taking a drink.

That pretty much covers my excitement for the day. That and the description of the vehicle that my father has selected for me has made me want to name it the vampmobile. We'll have to explore this more later. For now, I am too weary to add to today's lovely entry, so enjoy what is here and smile for me.

Sometimes I get left behind. These are the times when I shrug and go about my business. Luckily for me, my business can be quite entertaining. I have decided I love peaches. To appropriately discuss my love for peaches, I just have to use some of the terms in these little pamphlets that came across my desk. It is important to use the following words and phrases: attractive freestone; large, round; firm yellow flesh; vigorous productive trees; large, showy blossoms; semi-free when ripe; and bright red blush. Sweet potatoes are also pretty sexy, so I can't leave them out with their copper to rose skin and excellent shape. And who could beat our melons, so use the following when describing a watermelon: excellent quality flesh; firm, crisp, sweet flesh; and cuts out well regardless of fruit size.

Bjork and Keri Noble got the lyric prizes for today. Someday, I should put all these lyrics into a file here, so that I don't have to find them again later. Ah, why I feel love so strongly still confuses me. It just tends to rip me apart and waste my time. Nothing personal, boys, but I have yet to find one who appreciates me for me. Maybe, I should give up and spend more time with my cats and material.

Anyway, today was not too exciting aside from the peaches. Everyone loves peaches. Go ahead, admit it and move on. Seriously, leave the peaches alone. They just want to grow on vigorous trees in peace. I also got to work on the magical script. This script is somehow quite tame, even with me and my famous peaches. I also got over ten thousand steps again today. This takes quite a bit of talent or walking anyway. Bellabooo also reached karma level 5 if you even remember her--my second favorite superhero, and the other prolly doesn't even want the honor. Sweet dreams, loves.

So it is another lovely Thursday morning. I tried to get in touch with a couple of friends last night and all three of them were inexplicably unable to answer their phones. Since I have not actually been in the mood to talk on the phone, I thought it would be nice if I could talk to at least one of them, but it was not meant to be. Seems like more proof to me that I should give up the phone, so I dreamed about them instead. Well, the two I haven't heard from in a long time. My dreams are always so festive, and this one for some reason had Christian Slater and random flights to St. Petersburg, so I have no idea. (Oh, and people trying to kill me, but they were doomed to fail, of course.)

Today looks bright and chipper. I get to go to a meeting where half the people in the room will tell me how I have no idea what I have been doing for the past three years. That should improve my mood. I also need to play with the script this evening. (I volunteered for that one because I am a conceited little bar wench, so I can't complain about it.) With luck, I shall also see my delicious Candy Girl. I haven't got to hang out with her for a while, and the last couple of times I tried to, other people seemed to feel they needed to tag along. *sigh*

More lyrics of the day as I explore more music. Hopeless romantics like myself can associate with just about any song that we hear. It's amazing how that works, isn't it. Of course, I am amazed when most things work.

The meeting went better than expected. I prepared myself by dressing up a little. Throw on the right outfit and they feel that they must accept what you say instead of acting like you are two. I also got to spend time with my Candy Girl. She is so sweet, especially after the fried ice cream we had for dessert. She then came home to watch a movie with me. Upon our arrival, I was greeted with the announcement that people called in my absence. One person wanted info from me that I did not have and the other was my father. Apparently, the thought of waiting to give me my new and lovely car was too much. Anyway, my new car is sitting in my driveway. It is indeed white like a sheep, but I fear I can not give it the name it deserves. Darn my friends. Darn them for having dubbed their car a sheep first. Thus is born--the hobbitmobile pending further thought. Goodness, look at the time. Sweet dreams.

Sometimes, the lyrics are not quite exactly what I want to say, but I don't feel like posting my own poetry. I've got so much to do and so little time, it seems. Remember that it is always okay to serenade a gorgeous web diva. It also good to be wary of her when she is behind the wheel of the huge truck of death.

However, I did enjoy some time behind the wheel of the hobbit mobile. Not nearly as cute as my roomie, who is very much not a hobbit, squeezed behind the wheel.It was great. You can't even begin to imagine, and if you can, try to stop laughing. Yes, I was driving legally. I have my permit again, which means there will be more moments of great and undeniable fun.

That would be the entirety of my excitement today, but I do have various other wonderful things to fill up my tomorrow. I will just have to carefully select my projects. I shall do that in the morning. I so love surprises. (Well, from beautiful web divas like myself.) Sweet dreams.

I woke up early in the hopes of cleaning my house a bit. As I wandered around trying to find wakefulness, I decided to work on the veil that has been plaguing me (dance, not marriage, though I will dance for the right man with my veil in hand *purr*). I finished it up and now I have one less project--yay! Before I finished it, however, I got a visit.

My father dropped by to see how I like the hobbitmobile. Fathers always worry that their gifts aren't appreciated. So we went out to breakfast and I got to drive back home. It went pretty well until the hobbitmobile got jealous that it wasn't invited to breakfast and stalled out in the middle of an intersection. Luck was with us and we survived. Then the hobbitmobile and I puttered home where I spent a little time cleaning. I also snuck in some private time with the script. I reworked the acts we have so they made more sense. I'll probably go over them again because I am anal like you wouldn't believe. That pretty much sums up the excitement of this lovely day. Go, be happy, dance in the sunlight.

I could read you over a thousand times
And find I do not know you at all
Be sentenced for a thousand crimes
And still be waiting just to fall
More in love with you than I had thought
Possible with a heart so scarred
By battle, all those wars I fought
In the hopes of not falling so hard

I could read you over, read your mind
Invest my life in you, love you more
Than any other woman you could find
And any woman you loved before
But I will not beg, bend my knee
For I feel in you, love you don't confess
For how could you love someone like me
An unconventional, kind-hearted goddess

And now for some words from our sponsors.

Some people who don't quite get it decided to advise me again on my love life. I love how people can just fall in and out of love. I envy them. My heart is not so shallow. So one of them told me I should list the qualities I am looking for, so I can refer people to the list and ask them if the people they recommend are acceptable. Hmmm, let me see, what do I want in a man.

"Oh, I want a tall, muscular guy. He has to have dark hair and green eyes or maybe brown with long dark lashes. He has to be able to support us with his great job and worship the ground I walk on."

Oh wait, no, I really am not that shallow. Let me describe in my own words the qualities I have loved in those men who truly earned my love: respects me, kind, gentle, someone I can talk to, someone who will talk to me, makes me want to be better for myself not to please him, makes me less afraid to be me, I confess a weakness for a smile than can warm my heart and make me smile back, sincerity, a little hint of mystery, willing to fight for what he wants, willing to deal with my oddities without trying to tear me down for them, makes me want to dance, fills my heart with poetry, confounds me and then quickly makes it all clear, encourages me to chase my dreams and choose the right, courage enough to stand up to me, wisdom enough to see my inner beauty as I see his. I can't say I particularly care if he is "hot". I can't say I aspire to marry a rich man. In fifty years, I will still be able to look at any man who earns my love and feel that I have the handsomest man in the world, even if the ring upon my finger is merely a piece of string. I doubt I will find that though. The men I want to woo me are too busy looking for "hot" or "acceptable" girls to realize that they were meant for so much more, and the men who want to woo me haven't got the nerve to risk hearing me deny them.

Of course, I could just imagine that any man has loved me. Either way, I still end up with some free time between activities and trying to heal the world. I find myself at a loss to advise and comfort my friends. How could I possibly hope to comfort them and make them feel better when I seem to leave misery in my wake? So many people that I care about seem to slip away into obscurity. I don't forget them, but they slip away and get lost in a world where I dare not follow. I do not wish to watch them hurt themselves. For some reason, that tends to hurt me more than people tell me it should.

So I spent more time with the world's most lovely books today. Illinois is not nearly as exciting as Mississippi or Iowa for mockery though. They seem to have an interest in swine and fertilizer--now that should remind some people of past relationships. So that was the excitement of the day until I came home and dropped into bed for a two hour nap.

I awoke to the ringing of the phone. It was neither of the calls I hoped for, but I can not say I was disappointed for a change. Honey, I wish you more luck than I wish myself. I understand how you love in my own way and will be here if you need me, pending the continuance of my sanity. Take care, hold on, and keep holding on to the things that keep you going--work, faith, and of course, honey milk.

Then I made my way to FHE where I gave the lesson. I can only hope I expressed half of what was floating around in my head on the topic I considered. We also played Sequence which may or may not be the game for me. My group and I did not win, but we certainly had fun putting blue chips on the board. We also played uno which was won by a missionary--more proof that truth and right are with them. Anyway, I better sneak into my bed before it sneaks into oblivion without me.

Pardon me if I do not live up to your perfection
Bow before you, quake at the thought of your rejection
Pardon me if I make mistakes and refuse to see
How your mistakes are nothing compared to me
For I am too young to understand or even comprehend
But I fear even age, does not bring wisdom, friend
For I have seen old hags acting more like teens
And young children more regal than aging queens
With more knowledge, more pain crowded into their minds
Than the average person feels, knows, or finds

We writers of blogs, are we not all philodoxes? Do we not all spread our opinions via this very friendly online forum? Do we not try to explain away our very existence in a few simple words? Do we not chop off the heads of the nobility in the hopes of being able to feed our starving net children? Do we not have people who follow us blindly--sometimes so blindly that they can't see beyond their own thoughts?

So I spent yesterday in the normal Tuesday places. I danced around the library with some books. I was reminded I am not perfect--with unnecessary repetitions, but I guess pompous little bloggers like myself need that from time to time. I played with books from Idaho. They have lots of potatoes and lots of ideas for packing potatoes. I also found some wonderfully aged documents on how to maintain a good appearance and make jumpers with matching blouses. *claps hands excitedly* Some of you may not even be aware that if you make the jumper of the right fabric, it is great for wearing during the day with a blouse and then, at night, you can go wild and take off the blouse, throw on a necklace, and party like there is no tomorrow. Perhaps, I should start wearing jumpers. Do you think they would go with my cloak?

I then went home to putter around the house wondering about the hobbitmobile's health and trying to get an address for someone I barely know. I found someone to look at the hobbitmobile and give it an attitude adjustment, so that it will actually go above 15 without skipping every speed up to 45. That can't possibly be healthy. However, the address is still eluding me. I can almost remember the e-mail, but I need the current snail mail address. Maybe, I should call my mom. She is good at getting such info. Too bad she didn't pass that down to me. I could be a private investigator and give up my life of books.

Of course, I spent the evening discoursing further on signs of the Second Coming. I believe we deviated a couple of times to such topics as evil in the world and scary things that are legal. Then we disbanded and some of us made our way to the Roadhouse where the party happens. Only six of us made the magical journey this time, but we still had a good time. We always do. No one knows how to party like a bunch of Mormons with a bucket of peanuts. I also ate a lot of the magical rolls to continue my anti-Atkins diet. I would hate to break the trend of getting in my carbs. Besides, their rolls are quite tasty and the butter is cinnamony.

Another average day full of malfunctioning gas pedals and lists unfolded before me. If I listed all the things I do for different aspects of my life, I could keep you reading for hours. I swear I am surprised I have time to stop and smell the roses, which I might add, it is important to do from time to time. I did get told I am shrinking today, so perhaps I will be real hobbit height. Of course, I am pretty sure they weren't referring to my height, so it is possible I am running myself ragged trying to keep the world happy. Perhaps, I should close the box of Bella completely for a while. They always do hate it when you close the box though. I could probably talk about that for hours in a couple of different perspectives, but I'll leave that one in my head.

Okay, the person who looked at my car tells me that the carburetor needs rebuilt. This means that my uncle who was supposed to make sure my father didn't get screwed over apparently was hoping to get some more work. Now, I don't know about you, but I personally don't think one should do that to anyone, particularly not family, but I should keep my mouth shut. The more I open it, the more I realize that people get hurt too easily by what I have to say. Thus, I shall try my best to give up on those who have given up on me and keep the rest of them happy with the fickle facade that all is well at all times and in all things. Enjoy the show. In the meantime, have a lovely evening.

Today's triple play features 1, 2, 3 intriguing songs that yahoo picked for me.

Be careful what you give away because most often you will never get it back. That is a warm little nugget of truth from everyone's favorite hobbit. That is precisely why I never loan out the fabulous, vintage, polyester, bright pink bell bottoms that I am wearing today. Besides, they are very me though my hippie hair is not quite long enough to make me feel authentic. A little warning to the educated, Butterfly is back this morning. Be wary. She actually enjoys your silly games and she knows how to play them. *giggles* Perhaps, I am insane. I must be to tell anyone they are worth waiting for when they obviously don't respect me enough to deserve my esteem. Yet somehow, I know that there is something beneath the surface that I have just not been allowed close enough to unearth.

*shrug* The only person I feel like fighting to uncover and reveal to the world, however, is me. I have no idea what people see when they look at me, but from the way they treat me, it isn't me. If it were, I would not have fools who should have an inkling that it is a bad idea trying to pull the wool over my eyes, and trying to do so in order to cheat my father--*shakes head* that is just utter foolishness. Luckily, though I know where he lives, my uncle shall not be seeing me any time soon. Oh, btw, I don't need a street team to tell the world about me, so keep what you think you know to yourself and refer them to the source of Bella's light. I've said it before but some presumptuous fools still think they know me well enough to advise me (advice being another thing you can't take back once you give it, as I have seen to my own chagrin).

Anyway, I am taking a mini-vacation next week. I will kick it off on Wednesday with a visit to a repair shop with the hobbitmobile, but if you put in your bid immediately, I may be able to squeeze you in sometime between Wednesday morning and Friday evening, as I have a date with a whole lotta ladies that evening. Keep in mind that the standard disclaimers to spending time with me apply. Tsk, I am talking about a campout--nothing exciting or racey. Remember that I have started turning into a prude.

I fear I have not succeeded enough at lying to myself to pour forth sunshine. I know many people who have mastered this art though, so perhaps I can watch them for some pointers. In the meantime, it may be hard for me to pretend that people don't disappoint me on a regular basis, including myself.

I did get to visit with the fabulous Miss Kewl this evening though. We wandered about the mall like the heathens we are, locating the most fabulous clothes and Miss Kewl even purchased some. I just like to look at things these days. I would think I was sick, but I am not much of a buyer anyway. Besides, I am still plagued by the desire to eradicate the stuff I own. *shrug* I still don't get that one, but eventually, I am sure I will find out what makes me feel so compulsive in that issue. Anyway, sweet dreams.

Intoxicating, lips can not resist
Enchanting, one more lasting kiss
Debilitating, the need to feel
Disbelieving, this is not real
Oscillating, to love or hate
Fleeing, fear it is too late
Revealing, secrets cast aside
Intriguing, still something to hide
Confounding, what words did say
Escaping, just walk away

Songs sometimes say exactly what you would. Of course, it doesn't speak as strongly as your own words. Then again, the words that could express how I feel can not be spoken aloud not put forth for any eyes but the ones that can peer into my heart. That, however, is another story.

This story is about how I spent my day. With some of our software inoperable due to an impending server changes, I spent the day sniffing a marker. Yes, a permanent marker and I got to bond with some barcodes. I am never without something to keep me occupied. I also managed to get all those pesky black dots off of my desk--not so permanent after all.

I also did a little cleaning of my desk. I fear some dust bunnies met a tragic end. Show your support to their families. I guess that makes me a killer. *looks sad* The truth about my cruelty to dust bunnies was bound to come out.

I did forget to mention that one of my lovely ladies did visit me yesterday in the library. She dropped by after a long sojourn in the Orient to let me know she was back in town. Of course, she is leaving me again, but such is the way of the world. The evening has been spent catching up on shows recorded to the tivo, so I have nothing exciting to report. Run along and play now. Mama's busy.

One hobbit + various library staff members + small children + cross-eyed cat = fun

That equation may not look like fun to you, but then you have never been to a party involving my coworkers. We know how to have fun, and if we don't, some of the children that come along do. Okay, so I was just deeply impressed by the kitty. He seemed wary of approaching the famous cat woman. He was probably afraid of being kidnapped or taken in by my strange charms--either way, what bliss. To tell the truth, to some people, the party would have been rather dull. We ate some food, chatted merrily, and some even partook of the spiked strawberries that were floating around. Luckily, they love me or don't like to see hobbits look ill, so they warned me about the extra ingredients. *pout* Console me with some untainted fruit if you like.

I also had quite the stirring conversation with one of my coworker's sons. Okay, so furbees and beanie babies aren't something I can stir echoes of childish joy with (adult fear--yes, childish joy--no), but having a co-worker inform him that I could give him a run for his money with weird conversations was. Little did I know how famous my strange use of the English language has become. Amazingly, the young fellow was more fascinated by the cross-eyed cat than I was. He decided to call it Ignacius and would chase after it when it left our little troupe of party-goers.

Did I forget to mention what caused this party? No we were not celebrating a new call number classification system that would confuse you more than Dewey or LC though that would be rather fun? We were giving one of our esteemed colleagues a send-off as he is leaving us. More's the pity. He's a pretty cool guy, and last night I learned that his wife is too. She updated me on the happenings of Guiding Light. I don't have the patience to watch soap operas (after all, it takes them 4 days to get through one day's events despite the fact that the kids go from cute little tots to hotties in my age group overnight), so these random conversations are how I catch up on the only gossip that I should be spreading--gossip about fictional characters.

one hobbit + candy + lunch + walking + Subway = fun

So I took a little walk during lunch. I'll be off for a couple of days and I wanted to make sure I snuck some candy into the candy jar. I wouldn't want any one to go into withdrawal in my absence. This required walking. What better way to get a moment's release from staring at books like "The Goodbye Cow". That title went a bit further but it was too depressing especially with that sad looking cow on the cover. I stopped into Subway on my way back up from Dollar General and bumped into someone I know. Better still, I got fresh bread this time *cheer*.

one hobbit + random Mormons + conversation = fun

So the Mormons gathered again. We sat around and chatted. Then we snuck off to the Outback. Ah, pumpernickel bread is one of many forms of ambrosia. And now to seek out the other ambrosia--sleep. Night!!!

So I am now a quarter of a century old. I still feel 506 but who can account for how these things work out? I did get some intriguing gifts though. I got some T-shirts featuring my second favorite baby, Stewie from Family Guy, saying mean things. I also got two pairs of shoes with butterflies. One pair is spiffy flip flops that don't quite make the customary noise, but such is life. The other pair, which came from my mother, look like they were stolen from Cinderella. They are hard, clear plastic with two inch heels and little butterflies riding along in the front. I also scored a butterfly pin (which I think may be helpful in ensuring my modesty) and a butterfly necklace which is actually quite appealing in a red hot sort of way. I also can't forget to mention my peachy penguins and my sugar daddy (take that how you will). So it wasn't bad if you count the car (which I am).

Anyway, enough of the inventory. I know you are all bursting with curiosity. Assuming you have not already exploded, you can read on about how a hobbit spends her vacation. I posted on the calendar at work that I would be working in a sweat shop, but they didn't believe me. Okay, so there is no way I can sweat in my house since my roomie loves central air, but still. I spent most of my time working on my fabulous quilt. In fact, I finished my fabulous quilt. During this endeavor, I watched a lot of Highlander and Stargate: SG1 episodes. I will be an expert on both of these shows in no time at all.

I spent Thursday conferring with a dear friend on a quilt she is working on and the soon-to-be world famous Murder Mystery script. That thing is creeping along much too slowly, but my co-writers are all busier than a bumblebee and I am equally trapped by writer's block. Oh well, wish me luck and some free time this week and perhaps I shall be able to cross that off of my to-do list with the quilt I just finished.

Speaking of the quilt, it made an excellent sleeping companion at the camp-out last Friday. A bunch of happy, shiny people got together at the Bishop's farm and proved that life is more fun without being drunk. We got to meet a couple of spiffy birds, including a great horned owl named Boobo (Bu-beau, boo-bow, something like that) who had a really unfriendly disposition. I thought she was going to come snuggle me when I went to bed, but I was not so lucky. I did get to sleep in a huge tent with four other beautiful ladies though, so that was a huge consolation. Only three of the guys stayed the night. They were, of course, about 50 yards away from us.

Luckily, most of our compatriots did not leave us before the big fun of the evening occurred. We ate hot dogs and smores fresh from the fire. We talked, we chatted, we prepared ourselves. Then it was time. Yes, it was time for the great games to begin. We played capture the flag, which included such notable moments as me capturing Katie, body slamming Jeremy, and being caught only once despite my obvious infiltration into the non-neutral zone. You'd be surprised how fast my tiny little legs can move when I am pursued. I advise picturing the Roadrunner and how his legs kind of blur when he runs. I imagine that my legs looked much like that.

What? Oh yes, my WWF (actually, WWE) move. Well, first you must know that Jeremy is at least a foot taller than me. Second, you have to know that the grass was kind of slick. He was running away from two of my teammates with me working toward an interception from the other direction. Well, he didn't see me, so he didn't veer and I had minimal traction, so I couldn't stop. We collided quite humorously and he helped me up like a gentleman and then went to jail. I am told that the image of this has been amusing my friend Devan and the giggles have been keeping his wife Angela awake, so it must have been quite a spectacle. Definitely a moment in hobbit history that should have been caught on film.

The rest of Saturday was much less exciting. I took a five hour nap, watched more television, and basically tried to let my brain fizzle. It was trying to work out a million more projects for me to work on since I finally finished one. Sunday was also rather uneventful. I went to church as per usual where I got to teach the youngsters. Being 506, I am not sure I was really up to the challenge, but Nick and Amy were a great help. Nick was our disciplinator and I was our lecturer which means Amy was the fun one:) Then I went home and slept some more before waking up and making random greeting cards for the happiness of all.

Today has also proved to be rather unexciting. I got to work early and threw myself at finishing my annual report. It ended up being five pages and I hope it doesn't put my boss to sleep. I also got to play with fabulous barcodes. But today is still an important day. It's my brother's birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Joey. Hehehe. Ah, the other names I could call him, but he'll probably never read this anyway. I need to call his voice mail and sing him a pretty song in Mogwai. I don't want him to think I forgot.

Now for some words from our sponsor:

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Ah, the web diva, goddess of love, healer of hearts knows that she is loved. It is hiding right there beneath the surface waiting to break free. Don't tell anyone though. They'd never believe. Life is full of cruel irony. It is full of fools who believe they know everything simply because they have hurt themselves and found someone else to blame. It is full of "selfish" people who sacrifice more than anyone else can see and "unselfish" people who grab for more and more and then wonder why the cookie jar is now empty. It is full of people who give advice when they never listened to the problem. Sadder still, it is full of people I love and will never, ever reach. Thus I will not try to reach them anymore--any of them. Heaven help them if they come crying to me as well. I will not be told again how I hurt them by not laying down absolutely everything that is important to me and making them my whole world. On to other things because if I can not make you crack a smile, what is the point to coming here?

I have added making envelopes to my magical list of things I do with my garbage. It is yet another way to weed out all the wonderful stuff I have piling up in my room, so I am certainly not going to complain. In fact, assuming my phone stops ringing, I hope to make some headway with that over the course of the week. Of course, envelopes are incredible things. You can fill them with all sorts of fun stuff and you can never be quite sure of what is inside. For instance, I could stick a picture of my cat snuggling a shoe in there. Now that would be adorable. I could also stick a picture of a horse's behind in an envelope. That might not be as amusing, particularly if it reminds the receiver of their face. Pink slips also tend to come in envelopes, which never makes anyone happy. But one can enclose a check in one (and usually does to send to the power company).

And because I know how people love them and I have not been inappropriate enough lately:

take the virgin-whore dichotomy quiz.
and go to mewing.net. where we're all studs.

And here we all thought Bella sounded like the perfect whore. Nope, she is too much of a prude for that.

take the "what's your dark secret?" quiz | courtesy of mewing.net. where darkness and secrecy abound.

Ah, to be like Data, completely without emotion. Though he does have a strong desire to feel and act as humans do, doesn't he? One just doesn't win either way.

Take the microfiche and randomly splash them across the desk. Then sort them again. Take a few out of their envelopes. Mix them up and start again. Eventually, you will wake up and realize that it is not wise to play solitaire with the microfiche. After all, you never know when the provost is wandering around the building looking for slackers and people high on work. Okay, so I wasn't playing Solitaire with the microfiche, nor did the provost drop by our department, but it would have been amusing.

My day was rather dull. I did get informed that some people don't believe that half of the things I put up here are real/ Seriously, I couldn't make up things as dull as my average day. Nor could I make up my great mini-vacations. Apparently, though, people have been making blogs for fictional characters. Now why on earth would people do that? To mock famous people and amuse the world. Oh well, nothing more to see here, so smile a bit and have a great one.

I awoke again to the excitement that is Bella's mundane mortal muse. Rodney was happily scratching and pawing at everything in sight, especially things that crinkle. He would, of course, stop whenever I mumbled something and jump into my face in hopes of getting affection. Finally, his persistence was awarded by me grumbling my way out of bed and hitting the shower.

I also got to wrestle with the hobbitmobile again this morning. She is being subjected to my terrible driving skill again. I need to practice that so I don't make some roadkill of small, little, adorable, furry forest creatures or, worse still, hobbit web divas. The hobbitmobile is also not a morning person and refused to get started this morning. After much conversation involving the word spooty and some growling, however, she came to life and we made our way out to annoy drivers everywhere not to mention my devoted passenger.

So aside from strange men continuing work on the elevator, my day was not too exciting. I spent the morning with a famous list of names. Okay, the only name that I recognized was Mary Tyler Moore. I am sure most of my readers remember her and her hat toss and perhaps even that time she was in a habit. Ah, what could be more sexy than a nun? Oh yes, me. I have also been worshiped by my cats today. Later we're going to do what I call DemAerobics. Now, anyone who watched the debate last night saw this. Every now and then, they would pause and get the blood flowing again by waving their arms. I have also slapped the lyrics of the month into a lovely file for easier perusal. It still needs some work, but frankly I don't care right now. Have a good one and remember to do your DemAerobics.

Another lovely day has unfolded before me. Here I sit with my trusty laptop in my lap and the soothing strains of Highlander in the background. Nothing quite compares to the thought of immortality. Imagine how dull each day would be if you knew your days could go on forever and you didn't have enough interests. That is another thing to ponder, but this is not the highlight of my day.

I had some missionaries and my wonderful candy girl over for lunch.We had some hoagies, salad, fries, and a delicious punch cake. I admit it is one of my simpler meals, but I can't be Betty Crocker every day. Besides, the missionaries always look so happy when they're being fed. Then again most people look happy when being fed.

I also made a little visit to the local theater. It was bound to happen. My movie was out. Think about it. Think about it. That's right, Catwoman. What could be more me than that? Watch the movie. If you can't figure it out, you really don't know me. If your assumptions are wrong, then you are worse off than those who don't know me and accept it. Merow!!! Night.