It was a rather peaceful day. This is probably a result of much sleeping on my part. I took three naps today. Probably some strange side effect of having a lot to do, a lot I want to do and can't, and a few spare moments when my fan club was off my back. Of course, my number one fan jumped on my back and gave me acupuncture treatments during one of my naps, but it is hard to fend off someone as cute as my cat. Anyway, take care and hopefully tomorrow will bring more mirth and joy.

Ah, it's a Monday again. We all know how I love and adore them. I believe my reasons for adoring them so much are justified, and if not, I blame Garfield. This journal, however, has somehow strayed away from its original purpose. As you can tell from my many rants, depressing poetry, and reminders that you can not know me from reading the words here, somehow my mockery of the world and online journals in general got skewed. I apologize for that and only that. Any other sins you think I have committed against you personally are probably a figment of your imagination. And now to find our way back to happier times.

In honor of the beginning of walk your pedometer to work day, I walked my pedometer to work. I've noted that it doesn't record my movements as accurately when it is where the paper says to put it. Weird, eh? This is probably related to my inability to conform. Why would I want to conform though when being Bella is so uniquely wonderful.

Today, I got to play with even more microfiche. Then I played with even more microfiche. This was obviously not the highlight of my day. I got to watch someone get measured for a tux, not to be Tux--it is hard to be as sexy as Tux. You can't imagine how funny that is unless you have had the joy of witnessing such wonders. It helps if you have random commentary to throw out about how hard it is to keep hulk-like muscles inside a suit jacket. That's right, picture some people green this week. It should make you giggle. (You can pick between Yoda, the Hulk, Kermit, and so many other charming, green men.)

The evening culminated with another fun evening with the happy, shiny people. We played some pictionary and someone gave me a stool. I am so excited about my stool. It makes me tall. It creaks. It gives me that deep down Norm-like feeling, well when I have a nice tall glass of bubbly root beer to guzzle. Now all I need is a friend named Cliff to tell me dozens of random facts that only his mom (who he still lives with) would want anyone to know. So that is my goal. I will be accepting applications for Cliff wanna-bes, but I fear my brother may be the perfect candidate, judging from past experiences where he bored my friends to tears (and he does live with my mom--DUDE!!!)

I know you shall all leap to my defense, so I shall tell you about the abusive relationship that I have entered into. It is only the second day in the ten week program that my workplace is sponsoring and the honeymoon with my pedometer is already over. It keeps stabbing me in the hip, and I believe it is lying to me. I mean, maybe I really am paranoid, but halfway through the morning, I already had half as many strides as it claimed I made yesterday. Between my daily lunch trek to Mormon central and my random sidestep dancing around the foosball table at FHE, I should have wracked up as many points as roaming the library.

So today was a good day for wracking up numbers. I didn't quite double yesterday's final score, but that is probably related to the abusive relationship that I am in with my pedometer. I spent the day at work where the fun is. I fail to find much more excitement than that these days. All of my friends are writing papers and studying for finals. Yes, my friends know how to study. I salute them. Now I am going to try to learn how to sleep. If you have any thoughts on that, please let me know. My sleeping has not gone well lately.

Should this fall into the wrong hands, they will know at last that at some time, Bella wanted to be a clown. *gasp* They'll find her big red nose, her enormous shoes in which her little hobbit feet could swim merrily, and that lovely curly wig, and they will know that she could have been as big as Binky the Clown. Instead, she decided to hide her humor here on the back burner and become a dull little library minion. Ah, what the world has missed out on, eh?

You aren't missing out on it though. Here you are, digging through random entries of mirth, moroseness, and madness looking for those pearls of humor. So perhaps, I should lay some down. *inspects you for swinishness* Yes, some humor, but what to mock.

Sadly, it was a low day for mockery. Sometimes the library is full of mockable things, but as finals week wears on there are less and less studiers to mock. This means there are less cell phones and random conversations to inadvertently hear. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. After all, some of the things people share on their cell phones in public, I wouldn't share with my closest friend in a soundproof room. So I shall seek out humor and perhaps slap a little bit here. In the meantime, The Godfather continues, so I shall go back to watching it. Sweet dreams.

So I started the day off in normal fashion. I snuggled up to some dusty old books and seduced them into being cooperative. I could tell you, but then you would steal my darling little dust-mongers from me. Then what would I do for fun? Look at funny names all day? Well, maybe, but that is another story for another time. Today, I dedicate to the belated birthday of my darling Aravan. I have a thing for collecting cute, blond friends, so who's jealous? Yeah, I see your hands up in the air. You can put them down now because she is mine, all mine. Muhahaha.

Sorry, I seem to have lost my point again. It's probably in my carpet with the needles. I took the afternoon off so I could spend the afternoon with her. We had a lovely lunch at the famous Jay's a.k.a. the Daily Grind. This was followed by a trip to Dairy Queen. Nothing says love like a banana split. Then I "let" her win at pool. That ended the excitement of the day aside from sitting in traffic unless something unexpected comes up.

As I sit upon my couch catching up on the many movies that have been recorded over the last week, I hear helicopters flying low above me. I think they are looking for my secret stash of hobbit hair. My roomie's cat does love my hair, so it must be highly addictive. No, you can not have some. Well, maybe if you offer me lots of money. I don't have much else to report on. I did take an incredibly long walk, but I don't have anything amusing to tell. Dance, sheepies, dance.

I have hobbits on my brain today, and they seem to be getting heavier as the day progresses. This may be a result of the constant eating that seems to be going on. One reason for this hobbit fixation could be the marriage of my co-hobbit Mike to the honorary co-hobbit Priscilla. As I mentioned before, this means they get to produce little hobbits for me to entertain. Sadly, they are moving away, but perhaps they will visit the old haunts from time to time.

In the meantime, I don't think this site is big enough. Any ideas? After all, those of us who feel we are short in some way must compensate for it somehow. This could explain the many random links to this site--yes, the ones that you haven't even explored. Poor dears. Ah, but I have so many projects to work on in my spare time, so don't expect this lovely site to explode anytime soon.

So I didn't update for a while. Dry your tears. I took a vacation from updating. I didn't do anything overly exciting, so nothing to report. I did manage to crack 13000 on my pedometer the other day. Maybe I will do it again, but I doubt it. *grin* Have a good one.

I am rather proud to be me. I just can't help it. After all, not everyone is an IMPress with their own wish list. I updated that for those who are deeply concerned about my wishes. I know that is on the top of everyone's mind these days, so you can worry a little less.

So I spent the day with some lovely books about agriculture. You can't imagine how exciting this is to me unless you have heard my teeny, tiny rant about liars about a million times. I am sure I have other rants that are just as dull and you can remind me of them later, if you are feeling brave. *grins evilly*

Well, aside from convincing some paper to jump into the trash, I didn't accomplish a lot today. Perhaps, tomorrow I shall find motivation to do something astonishing. I may also find humor, but I think my funny bone is broken. Okay, maybe it is just a little numb from misuse. It'll all be good. I just need some Z's or some sheep. Ziggy thinks she is a sheep. While watching a Serta commercial, I felt inclined to say "SHEEP!!!" with much feeling which was followed by Ziggy flying across the house to me. So I will go count her as she zooms around the house:)

So I got up early and went to the land of magical names. No wait, I went to work, which is far better. After all, nothing beats the library on a lovely Friday. I always have such fun piles of paper and new books about everything under the sun. That was not the high point of my day, however.

I got to see my Julie. We hung out for a while. I also got to eat a salad that was absolutely perfect for a woman who wants her very own hippie van. It was quite an eventful evening, culminating in a wild run through the rain to a non-hippie van. Now, how to get the van of my dreams. That is commentary for a day when I am less tired from hanging out. Have sweet ones.

Thoughts have been roaming freely through my head all day. Most of them didn't put me in a chipper mood, but, of course, that's not allowed. I must always acquiesce to the wants of others and forget that I exist. I am getting tired of that attitude. I am getting tired of a lot of things, but no one wants to hear it. No one wants to hear that the more you try to make only an extension of you, the easier it is for me to entertain the thought of simply turning and walking away never to entertain, comfort, or show an unwarranted level of loyalty to any one but me again.

Of course, I am not allowed to talk about that. So I shall speak instead of the wonderful spa atmosphere that I work in each day. This morning, a waterfall was added to our wonderful sauna, trickling from the ceiling onto the carpet until I plopped a trashcan under it. Thus was born our little fish pond. We didn't have any fish, so I considered using fiche instead. That would have competed with the joy of my personal fiche bowl, so I opted not to do so.

We also got to be part of a guided tour. Two individuals got to visit the Cataloging zoo as a result of applying for one of our empty positions. We can always use new specimens to add to the wonder that is our department. Besides, as much as we like to dream that they do, the books do not update their records and stamp themselves on the way out to the shelves. They need a little help from the library superheroes--librarians and library technical assistants and even work-study students.

After all of that excitement, including watching three physical plant guys play with wrenches and hearing the work-studies being cautioned to avoid me because I am weird, I was prepared to run away. So I did run away to my house. There I had the joy of baking brownies. Sadly, they were not chocolaty enough for my darling Aravan, but she will never have to know. The boys of the renewed Boys Club didn't seem to mind, so all is well. They did seem to mind playing Scrabble with me though. I spend my days manipulating and staring at words, how could I not be expected to pull randomly obscure words out of my brain. Ah, and now I must seek sleep and escape from seeing in those I love reminders of those who already broke my heart.

I have given up on men. That's right, I am now picking up books instead. They are just so much more fun anyway. Besides, they are also easier to pick up. I picked up a couple of them today. They didn't mind that I already had other books around. They entertain me and as long as I check them out indefinitely, they shall never desert me for a better climate or a sexier person. So how does one pick up a book anyway?

I had an update for yesterday, but I never got around to posting it. After playing tiffleball (baseball with a tennis ball) with the Boys Club, I got home and began fighting with my girlfriend. I fear her hard disk is dying on me. Makes me a little unpleasant, yet I managed to keep my cool when volunteered as full-time catcher. I would like to state, to my own happiness, that the ball at least made it to the pitcher when I threw it. *cheers for me*

So today, I have been inundated with wild thoughts such as "Your tree's trouble may be you." Now figuratively speaking, that does make a lot of sense, especially if you have a convoluted family tree. *grin* I won't go there though. I keep falling out of the lower branches of my family tree from amazement.

The evening was brightened by intellectual discussions about sleep. Ah, that is one of my favorite topics. In fact, one I am going to explore right now.

...as in polyvalent because you are never going to make it through all my layers. Most people can't even deal with the ones they see. Hence the fact that some days they just aren't amused by my humor. Such a pity, too. I do have aspirations to be a clown. I could tell jokes about microfiche for hours and then steal your handbags when you pass out from boredom.

Of course, most people would just walk away from microfiche conversations. This is an astonishing sign of wisdom. I started another novel yesterday. I need one to grab me and stick with me for a while, or more inspiration to finish one. I wonder what could inspire me. Ah, yes, getting the first one published. I guess this means that I should work more industriously on that.

In the meantime, I shall pursue the wondrous pursuit of being the weirdest librarian in my world. I don't really seem to have competition. I have been practicing for years after all. Today marked the end of working on another lovely set of books, so I got to play with the now infamous slips of paper. No one celebrates them as I do. No one would because that is just weird.

Of course, I came home and took a nap. That talk about sleep last night must have been highly suggestive. It was a good nap though. Of course, it negated accomplishing anything overly useful this evening. Maybe I can play catch-up later, but not catch. My arm is still sore from tossing the tennis ball over and over again to the pitcher. Well, that's all we have. Go pry into someone else's online journal and try to have a good one.

l'Amour

J'ai paysage d'encre
contemple une caresse languissant
sans splendeur supr^me
Mais devient ensorcelant avec
la bouche fatale infernales illusoire

I got a little bored and went to play at poetry.com today. To my utter delight, they had poetry magnets in French to make a poem with (it's poetry in motion, if you want to play). That was my masterpiece. I wouldn't try translating it at babelfish. I looked out of curiosity and found their translation lacking something. It may be because the punctuation and accents are rather funky.

In other news, as many people have noted, I am short a couple of inches of hair. No, my roomie's cat didn't have a wild need to fulfill his fetish. No, I was not attacked by a weed-eater. Someone I love dearly, whose name starts with an N and ends with the French word for she, said she thought it would be a good idea. I couldn't help but agree with her. Oh, pardon my schizophrenia, it's just been one of those days.

I went to work where more lovely fiche bowed down before me. They bowed so low that I think some of them may have thrown out their envelopes (as opposed to backs, darlings). I noted that my pedometer was lying to me after my visit to my subjects, as it said I had barely made any notable movements. The abusive relationship continues, but I have less hair to brush in the morning. Aside from a random power outage late Friday night and early Saturday morning, my life is not full of excitement. Forgive yourself and get some sleep, kids.

Ah, barcodes. I got to look at even more barcodes today. I think they are slowly hypnotizing me, driving me mad so I will help them with their fiendish plots. They do intend to take over the world. In fact, they are well on their way. Think about it for a moment and then I shall enlighten those of you who haven't figured it out.

When you go to the store, every item has a barcode. In fact, you probably have a couple of those shopper discount cards. What is also on those cards? You are getting good at this. They do indeed have a bacode. So you scan your personal barcode and then you scan all your items. That information is transmitted instantly to the barcode elders who store it away. When you no longer are following the dictates of their master plan, they cause the discontinuance of some of your favorite items. (This is what happened to Eskimo Pie brand pudding pops, hence my terrible withdrawal.)

The same scenario is re-enacted whenever you go to the library or video store. Too much disobedience from you and suddenly only the music you don't like will be available. You will be watching cheesy chick flicks that even chicks don't want to watch while Boy George and Divo sing songs they are not respected for in the background.

But you will be good, won't you? You will obey the barcodes? NOOOO!?!?!? What do you mean? Go pick up some boxed goodies from your kitchen. Look at the barcode. Look at the shiny numbers. You are feeling sleepy, quite sleepy. Your eyelids are getting heavy. That's right, you are now under the power of the barcodes, no go out there draw some vertical lines of varying widths on your door. Very good, now the other barcodites shall be able to find you and commune with you.

So I haven't regaled you with the glorious wonder that is my everyday life recently. I hope that you managed to make it through the dry spell. So what has kept me too busy to bore you to sleep each night? Well, where should I begin? I suppose I could start at Tuesday and work my way forward.

Tuesday evening was spent in the company of some wonderful people. We got together to discuss Revelations and from there we re-initiated the joys of getting a bit of Texas after our minds and spirits are enlightened. It was a nice crowd, featuring four gents and four ladies and me. I am indescribable and not classifiable, so I shall not claim myself into a category. We threw peanuts. We ate half-price appetizers. More importantly, we got to hang out and get to know each other better. I got to be surrounded by Brock and Seth (who needed separated as they are related and like to pick on each other) and Ann (who is a sweet, innocent girl and probably is still in trauma from basking in my strange glow).

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. This resulted in a lovely and extensive nap on Wednesday. My tummy was also rebelling against me, so that could only add to my waking fun. Both days were also blessed with the joy of work. On Wednesday, I got to sit in on an interview for the new head of my department. You can imagine that there will be controversy over that situation. People always take things personally in those situations. Having rested up, I took Thursday night as another opportunity to hang out with another gorgeous lady.

My friend Melissa and I spent some time creating havoc in our small world. We explored the joys of looking at clothes in three stores. Proving that I am truly odd, I only purchased one item. We also squeezed in a movie. Having now seen, Shrek 2, I can assure you that my cat would make a sexy Puss in Boots. Now all I have to do is convince him to wear boots and a sexy hat. That could be complicated with how hard he fought me over the tie.

So last night I spent with even more friends, playing cards. Then I woke up this morning and pretended to clean my house while my cats followed me around. I think they missed me in my absence. Then it was off to a magical meeting of geeks. Shockingly, I was the only lady present. This caused me to miss out on baseball if my info is correct, but such is life, I am sure I will have other chances to embarrass myself in public. Now I am sitting here watching television and pondering all the things I need to do to clean up my life and all the things that people tell me or don't tell me but I know. That, of course, is not what the readers of this journal wish to read, so keep wishing you knew and rest well.

I woke up late this morning to sunlight pouring through my window. Nothing makes your day as cheery as the sun being your alarm. This was promptly followed by stumbling out of bed to make sure my plans for the day were still good. Sadly, my brother is a wild party animal and stayed out too late last night, so visiting my mommy was ruled out. Instead I wandered off with my darling Aravan to buy happy meal toys...er umm, Happy Meals. Now, if you really love me, you can collect Happy Meal toys for me *smile*. They are neopets, and we all know how I loves me some neopets.

After that, I got to go hang out with some wonderful people. We kicked a soccer ball around. Of course, since we were playing in a muddy field, I gained about five pounds on the bottom of my shoes. That is the best place to gain it, after all. We also made some foil dinners. I got to chop some wonderful onions. No, it did not make me cry. I think I have hit my quota of crying for this year. Of course, I could be wrong, but let's hope I am not. Let's also hope that I did not attain some poison ivy while wandering through the field to watch Joseph and Ronnie jump across the creek. You have to be there to appreciate these things. Not much else to report, so keep smiling.