My mental calendar has reminded me of something that I hope Santa Daddy remembers. It is Momma Peaches' birthday. So "Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday!" Your goal for the day is to have fun, relax, and do at least one thing just for you (and no housework). Thus I have declared and thus I hope it is.

Anyway, now it is time to address the social problem that weighs most heavily today. I can't count the number of conversations I have had about how nice guys finish last. These conversations did not always involve true nice guys, and even, on occasion made the nice, reliable girl they were talking to feel a bit annoyed. We're good to talk to and great for a backup if nothing else comes along, but we reliable girls are no fun...

All my hours of wooing Phil paid off. Today he declared an early spring. May your crocuses bloom wildly and your hands no longer feel the chill. Of course, today was still a chilly, semi-snowy day. The high points of the day included hot dogs and more hot dogs.

This evening, I watched the funniest movie ever, The Birds. Okay, so maybe it isn't meant to be funny but with the right clowns, anything can be funny. Ah, the fun we have. Too bad Phil wasn't there...

"Anything that we can do to help foster the intellect and spirit and emotional growth of our fellow human beings, that is our job. ..Life is for service." ~Fred Rogers (1928-2003)

"Live simply that others may simply live." ~Elizabeth Seton

It's Monday. Anyone who has ever read a Monday entry knows this means two things. One, I woke up this morning and wanted to crawl back under my covers until Tuesday. Two, I would cap the day with Merry Mormon Moments.

But does anyone really know how I would fill the hours in between? I had my inevitable (and enviable) microfiche solitaire. As a special treat, the library was incredibly warm today. This only made going out into the near negative temperatures that much more painful. I managed to keep myself prepped for this by walking close to what I like to think of as the evil doors. They are glass and tend to let cold in somehow. This lets me be reminded of how wonderful the temperature outside is whenever I walk past them. Brrr.

I was the only real student in the lunchtime Institute class again. This is not a rarity of late. I fear they just have the class for me. From time to time, other people do drop in though, so it's all good. I returned to my desk (and solitaire) and decided to check my e-mail. This led to a discover that there was a demonstration with which I should probably be involved (the word microfiche came up quite a few times without any prompting from me). It wasn't too astonishing or groundbreaking but still interesting. We'll have to see where it goes and make sure no fiche were harmed in the making of the product in question. A girl has to have her standards.

My Merry Monday Mormon Moments were a bit less exciting than whapping people with newspapers. We played a derivative of "I Have Never..." I always love the recommendations people give for that one. Just for the record, I have found that unfortunately technicalities count, so I have done quite a bit (though sky-diving and bungee jumping are not in my repertoire.) Anyway, according to my calculations, I haven't read my comics since Thursday and I have a book to read, so I am off. Sweet dreams.

"Hello, Mr. Zebra, can I have your sweater 'cause it's cold, cold, cold in my..."

Aside from the frosty wind that sweeps down over us, forcing us to shiver on our way from point A to point B, we have another touch of cold that we have been ignoring for years. I have to confess that one thing about the cold puts my ears at ease. The almost negative temperatures have helped to appease the symptoms of one of our social diseases. It has been a while since I heard the streets so devoid of inane chatter about where one is now and how long it will be until they arrive on the doorstep. That's right, this weather makes people keep their cell phones in their pockets (except those who tuck them into their hats).

I have also observed that many people seem more willing to let those of us cutting through the cold air that is cutting through our heavy coats pass in front of their cars without harm. No doubt they are thinking how miserable we must be. If only they were so kind in the rain, but one step of humanism at a time, please. Back to the silence.

The quiet that seems to have fallen over our fair city is reminiscent of the stillness seen on streets in horror movies. If you watch many of them, you know what I am envisioning. Moments exist right before something truly horrible is going to reveal itself when the direct builds the suspense with silence. Some use music, making the tempo pick up and take our hearts with it. The true masters, however, like to make our wheels start whirring away, trying to figure out what is wrong with the scene. Those quiet streets. The absence of human life scuttling from building to building to building. The surprising absence of cars rolling along on the streets washed white by salt residue. And then...

"Free belly button inspections. Get your belly button inspected here."

That's right, a whimsical hobbit comes face to face with one too many belly buttons and offers to inspect them to ensure freshness. Not that belly buttons are to be seen in this weather, but you get the idea...

"The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear." ~Socrates

"Few things in this life are going to be more satisfying than showing people that what they threw away is worth far more than what they chose to replace it with." ~Bella on dumpster-diving?

So I have dancing on the brain. The Ward is having a dinner/dance on Saturday that I am not planning. I know everyone is glad about that...This makes my mind wander to how I would dance to random music that pops up. I have decided that much of Sting's music is music that ents would dance to. It is slow, it is pokey (but not hokey), and it seems to have a peaceful, nomadic flavor to it. The question is how would an ent dance? I am sure people will find out Saturday night because we tend to not have enough guys at these festivities, so I like to lead my friends down the path of insanity by dancing slowly alone.

Another pressing thought of the day is how fortunate are we to be blessed with this glorious white snow? If you find a hobbit making snow angels on your lawn, please don't shoot her. After all, everyone needs their own hobbit angel to keep them safe. That is the rumor that I am trying to spread these days. I figure if rumors about me must keep cropping up that I might as well start one of them for a change.

"...Real hope is much more than wishful musing. It stiffens, not slackens, the spiritual spine. Hope is serene, not giddy, eager without being naive, and pleasantly steady without being smug. Hope is realistic anticipation which takes the form of a determination-not only to survive adversity but, moreover, to "endure. . . well" to the end." ~Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Ensign, Nov. 1998

"Be watchful of time and how you spend it. Nothing is more precious than time. In the twinkling of an eye heaven may be won or lost." ~Author unknown

"Don't waste too much of the time you have left. Make some piece of the world care." ~Robert B. Horton

"Getters generally don't get happiness; givers get it. You simply give to others a bit of yourself--a thoughtful act, a helpful idea, a word of appreciation, a lift over a rough spot, a sense of understanding, a timely suggestion. You take something out of your mind, garnished in kindness out of your heart, and put it into the other fellow's mind and heart." ~Charles H. Burr

"Extending your hand is extending yourself." ~Rod McKuen

"If you look back, you'll soon be going that way." ~American Proverb

"Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road." ~Dag Hammarskjold

"No revenge is more honorable than the one not taken." ~Spanish Proverb

"Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury." ~E. H. Chapin

"The most radical, powerful act ever undertaken by any human being remains the act of committing oneself, beyond reservation, to a worthy personal mission." ~Christopher Childs

"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today." ~Native American Proverb

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." ~Jan Glidewell

"Statistically, the probability of any one of us being here is so small that you'd think the mere fact of existing would keep us all in a contented dazzlement of surprise." ~Lewis Thomas (1913-1993)

"The day, water, sun, moon, night--I do not have to purchase these things with money." ~Titus Maccius Plautus (c. 254-184 B.C.)

"A crow is no whiter for being washed." ~French Proverb

"Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody." ~Mark Twain

One foe is too many and a hundred friends are too few. ~Native American Proverb

Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too. ~Thomas Fuller

So I have been reflecting again. I always reflect, even in mirrors. I look at what I have to do, what I want to do, what I can do, and what people expect me to do. Kind of hard to decide which hot potato to drop, eh?

And the annual Valentine's dance drew to a close. I danced with lots of girls and three guys. I had to make two of them dance with me. Don't confuse me. It really had little to do with me. I think I interrupted their attempts not to dance. Which begs the question, "Why did you come to the dance?"

I did get to dance with my lovely wife. I also got to dance with my daughter-in-law. I also got to dance with a gorgeous Amy and other various lovelies. The men would have been jealous if they hadn't been so busy playing middle school. Mmmm...time for...

when I put so much trust in you.

Yes, Phil, this means you. What is it with all of this cold weather? And now I hear rumors of even more snow. This is not spring weather. I was looking forward to the sun and relative warmth (I'll settle for 50 degrees). I was looking forward to flowers and fabulous dates with you on the sun-touched lawn of the park while we munched on berries and grasses. But I think I have to reconsider. I think I may just stay inside with my hot cocoa and watch you shiver under that nice coat of fur in your little cage outside.

So, Phil, dahlink, while I am blaming you for things. Have you been stealing boxes from the cage? Are you squirreling them away somewhere to build a new fort? (Yeah, I called you a squirrel. You rodents are all the same.) I miss my boxes. I like to collect them. It makes me feel like we can mail out more books. How else do you expect stuffy library types to get excitement than exchanging books with each other? Besides that, it is a fun little puzzle to try and figure out how many boxes can be packed into one small space without putting them inside of each other. I need that kind of break in my day.

Now, I know you are thinking of all the cute ways you can make it up to me in two days time, but I won't have it. I won't be bought off on one day of the year. So hold off on buying me candy and flowers. You can present me with those on two random days throughout the year. You understand? I will accept hugs and kisses though, Phil. You know I can't resist groundhog kisses.

Phil, why won't you answer my calls? I know you have cell reception down in that burrow of yours. I've seen you answer the phone far too many times when I was visiting.

I wouldn't mind the snow so much if the other people would accept the honest fact that they, like me don't know how to drive in the snow. Of course, I wouldn't recommend speeding up and then slamming on the brakes under normal circumstances. Add snow and logic and intelligence dictate that this is the worst idea. That's just me though.

This really has nothing to do with the lack of inherent ability to drive in the snow. I heard through the rumor mill that Jack Frost and you are fighting over your prognostication of an early spring. You and Jack need to make up before the Solstice Square Dance. I need to know that his pretty snowflake wife will be joining us. She always makes the coolest punch. You know what I mean.

Okay, Phil, just get back in touch with me. What's up with this freezing rain? It makes me want to go back to my bed. Maybe I won't wake up at two in the morning because my feet are cold without you...

So, Jack, I am fighting with my darling Phil. I hope you are proud of yourself. You even dumped so much snow on us that it is starting to feel like another ice age. Now if you could just send me an entertaining squirrel, I think I could find an acorn...

Seriously, Jack, are you planning on letting up? Sometimes less really is more. Hobbits have less height than other people, and we are infinitely more lovable. Ask any self-respecting cat and they will tell you.

What do you mean, what did I do today? I spent it watching television and cutting out squares. Well, I am hoping it will be hip to be square again soon. Of course, that has kept me in stitches most of the evening, but the evening draws to a close and the warm confines of my bed call. So could you make up with Phil, so we can all get together again soon in a nice sunny locale, like the backyard.

Mr. Smiley Heart Cookie,

I am sorry I ate you for second breakfast. If I didn't love you so, I never would have done it. It really isn't my fault you were so tasty in your pink icing. I admire your courage. You didn't stop smiling, even after I devoured your second eye. Are you still smiling down there in my belly?

Your smile did inspire me to have another glorious day. It may have been the sugar in you sweetening me up. Or it could have given me energy to carry on despite the world's cat failing to cooperate. Luckily, the fiche were easy to net and release back into their natural environment even without the omni-cat. (Last night, I observed that in the movie "Teen Witch", most of her spells started with "omni". I wonder if that means something about magic and automobile's.)

The rest of the day hasn't seen much need for your magical powers. Sugar can give one lots of energy, but some of my hobbies take very little of that, but still make me feel warm and fuzzy. Hopefully, the cold will break so I can feel warm and fuzzy without layers and layers of fabric and expensive heating bills. Oh, that noise? That is the noise of all my readers nodding their heads in emphatic agreement, except that polar bear, he wants his home to stay frozen...

Bright Yellow Toothbrush,

I am so excited to invite you into my home. You were my free gift for going to lunch with my friends at church today. I know we will have some good times together. We will grow so close to each other for about three months and then you will retire. But for now, we shall not speak of retirement, since I won't be retiring anytime soon.

The war is on again. The trash people decided not to empty my trash can. I guess I will just have to fill it to the top and then work my way to another trash can. Luckily, my desk is full of things that I should decide whether or not to throw away. I can keep the can filling going for days if need requires it.

It is my hope that while I am expanding my tush through some extensive couch exercises. I did spend quality time watching other people join the dance revolution. I am not brave enough to embarrass myself in public like that just yet. Combine that with my inability to breath at the moment, and you get one very undancable hobbit.

I finished one of the many books I am reading today. I confess it disappointed me. Not that I ran out of pages to read, but that such a book has been published. I see so many books that have no value that it saddens me. I see books of untruth that claim to be scholarly research documents. I see "entertaining" books that leave me more empty than when I began reading their pages. So the author gets paid because the library bought this book which really has no value. Trust me. It was liking reading the psycho babbling of someone who needed serious help, and it was not H. M. Murdoch, so it wasn't even good for a laugh...

And I know that the world is full of millions of other people who basically want to be paid for the minimal amount of effort they can put into something. We're spoiled. We've spoiled ourselves. Spoiled? Not you! Not me! Oh yes. Let me clarify a bit.

I woke up this morning in a nice warm little room (okay, not so little). I did not spend all night stoking a fire for it to be that way. In fact, it's been years since I went foraging for firewood. Granted one of the blankets that I had to wriggle free of was made with my own two hands but the other was mass-produced overseas somewhere. Then I hopped into the shower. I didn't have to pump water at the well or cart it from a nearby stream (not that I would--have you seen the nearby stream?). I didn't have to wait for the water to heat up and then sponge off. I was spoiled with jets of warm water and mass-produced soap and a washcloth that my washing machine cleaned for me after the last time I used it.

Getting the picture? We don't know how to create. I even read an article about how students in college have terrible reading comprehension recently. That rang rather true. People lack most basic comprehension skills. We all want to be islands. We are islands with cell phones and no one can hear us screaming at a distant island via this magical device as we walk out in front of moving traffic. I worry about us. I worry about a lot of things...

I want to shake some people. I want to just grab them and go, "Do you realize how lucky you are? My goodness, grow up and count your blessings, and don't push them away because they require more work than you bargained for..." I am saddened by how many stories I hear of fathers not wanting to take responsibility for their children, mothers who share this problem, husbands who think they need more than their wives can give, children who completely turn their backs on their parents and never talk to them again because they didn't get that dolly when they were six. Come on people, surely you can find better ways to spend your free time than trying to bend the rules so you look like a saint when all you're doing is hurting yourself. *shakes head*

I need another of those Mardi Gras donuts and some shiny beads to distract my mind. But if I put those shiny beads around my neck, will I look more like an over-sized cat toy?

I awake. I breathe. I almost breathe. My sinuses still haven't completely cleared, but it makes for great music to the ears around me I am sure as I sniffle and snuffle through the day. Maybe tomorrow I will be less musically capable with my angry nose. Perhaps, my nose needs to go dancing...

"The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are--bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling--when you don't feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength." ~Charles Handy

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men of talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." ~Calvin Coolidge

"One should sympathize with the joy, the beauty, the color of life--the less said about life's sores the better." ~Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." ~William James (1842-1910)

"Prosperity is no just scale; adversity is the only balance to weigh friends." ~Plutarch (c. 46-c. 120 A.D.)

"Friendship, like money, is a trust, a stewardship, a responsibility." ~William Arthur Ward (1921-1994)

As the Pavarotti and the world of high entertainment know, the world's sexiest hobbit has been released into the city for psychological testing. It is not known who is being profiled--the hobbit or those who shall make contact with her in her travels. Today was spent in one of the most luxurious places that one can imagine--the inside of a car.

It all began with a little face pawing. That is the way days begin more and more frequently. I am not sure I like it. Then there was the joy of a shower and the obsessive checking of the bags to be sure that I they were fully-loaded. One should never leave home without their elven cloak, enchanted dagger, mithril, and random short, stout friends.

I then got whisked away by another hobbit, a chick with a hot name (almost as hot as Bella), and a giant. We had an exciting albeit uneventful trip. Upon arriving at the temple (sans Dorothy), I met up with another friend of mine and found my way to the not so tiny hamlet of Baltimore. I was escorted about the city and even met a puppy and a kitty from South Africa. They weren't overly impressed by me, and I couldn't get them to speak so I could hear if they had intriguing accents.

The evening lead in was a trip to a diner that featured smiley faces. I am easily sucked in by smileys and statues of Elvis on the roof. The food was what one would expect from a diner. In other words, it was cheap, yummy, and much larger than I expected. Mmmmm.

Then for the crowning achievement of the day, I went to a special Oscar night. After hearing some discussion of why it is called an Oscar (including some references to Oscar--it is always Muppets with me, baby), I have decided to offer awards and call them Rodneys. Why Rodneys? Because Rodney is pretty sexy. Wouldn't you like a little white gold plated cat statue? Everyone would.

I didn't win any Oscars at the festivities. They weren't giving out awards for hotness, shortness, or cat awareness. If only I had been told to "draw yourself", I may have drawn a hobbit to win us that prize. Ah well, I got the prize of spending time with a dear friend and stuffing my hobbit face with cream puffs and Ferrero Rocher *pockets check*, so what more could I ask for?

The morning started out innocently enough. I woke up in a strange hotel room with a hot chick in the huge bed next to the huge bed I was sprawled across. I rolled over and went back to sleep (as sleeping next to hot chicks is nothing new to a diva like myself). I woke up again a bit later and we started getting ready for church. This is when the fun began.

After having safely braved the strange shower and questionable free soap, my friend was innocently getting dressed. I was about to tackle the strange shower myself. Then I hear a scream of pure terror. Now this is not strange to me in the month of October, but it seemed odd in February. I rushed out to find that an evil sticky mouse trap had caught a beautiful blond instead of a small white or gray rodent. After having extricated her from this predicament, I finished getting ready for church.

We drove to church with little incident, aside from getting sidetracked. I begin to fear this is a side effect of me being in a car. We made it in time for a lesson on the beatitudes by my new friend Allen that was actually quite good despite being rushed. Ever notice how we never seem to have enough time for Sunday school lessons? Well, it is a universal phenomenon.

Then we went to the last meeting, which happened to be Sacrament. Good talks and a good intermediate hymn were not overshadowed by counsel that the munch and mingle would be cut a little short since the snowflake king saw fit to dump on the fair city of Baltimore.

Don't worry about my tummy. We still had our munch and mingle. This is a truly glorious concept. You circle around tables, placing delicious finger foods into your mouth and then just as your taste buds tell you how marvelous it tastes, you find yourself being asked a question. Not wanting to be rude, you respond to the question. It is recommended that you remember to take small bites, and also cover your mouth just in case. After all, "say it, don't spray it" is a wise motto.

Then we went out into the snow. Or I should say SNOW!!! It has successfully covered the ground and the cars. Youthful exuberance was running high, so I got to watch relative strangers pelting each other with snowballs while wearing high heels, suits, ties, skirts, and other such Sunday apparel. This was much more relaxing that being on the streets. People were standing in the middle of the street with car doors open, sliding about as they drove like there was no snow on the ground, and creeping along fearfully. I was making all sorts of noises that probably made the driver want to gag and/or blindfold me. I really must work on that.

So compliments of the snow, Baltimore is still being haunted by a hobbit. How long can that last without the hobbit being kicked out for aggressively seeking trees to hug?

The month is drawing to its swift conclusion. I took quite a long nap in an attempt to recover from too much fun. Of course, upon awaking, I found myself confronted by Mr. Needypants, Great Bulemia, and Angry Girl. They are a formidable force. They did not quite have the force to keep me from my needle stabbing and other projects, however. And more projects call. How odd. Do I ever really stop moving?