So the IMPress seems to be slumbering. Her queen rises from the ashes and is breathed to life, however, so don't worry too much. Someday this will all make sense. In the meantime, don't ask, I am probably too busy to address the question.

Ever popular, I have kept myself entertained. From bridal showers to a recent invitation to teach little children about the joys of libraries, my day planner is slowly filling up. Make your appointments now and avoid the rush. Tonight, as usual, I have a happy, shiny class to help make me happier and shinier. Some of you may think that is not possible while others are thinking that I am not happy and shiny to begin with. All I have to say is that with sugar, all things are possible.

Ah, to be exciting. Ah, to have a life that does not send insomniacs straight to sleep. That would be wonderful for some, but then my main readers would no longer have a use for this site as they face another night of pacing the floor. Well, I am off to prepare for more nights of being boring. I shall send some more love later.

As a child, I used to listen to a certain song and wish that I was "born in the U-S-A". Somehow, my teachers had not drilled into me that I was born here in the land of the free, home of the brave. Later on, I learned that not only was I born here, but I had the chance to "R-O-C-K in the U-S-A". I love it when songs spell these things out for me. Speaking of wishes, I spent a little time adding onto my wish list for no particular reason. I know some of you may want to save up for Christmas. I also know that one of you promised me a hand-made present, so you better not back out and buy something because I am excited.

I appreciate all presents made with love. That's why I appreciate Rodney swiping my face with his paws in the morning because he does it in order to get a glimpse at my lovely eyes. I would appreciate it more if he would wash his paws with soap and water first, but no one is perfect. I haven't really been into anything overly exciting over the last couple of days, hence the lack of entries.

I am practicing my child-like drawing abilities though and someday I will unleash it upon the web. You will all be so excited that you will sing. In fact, I daresay, you will sing, "If it makes you happy..." Perhaps in a voice less melodious than Sheryl Crow, but I don't expect perfection from my readers. It's a good thing, too, because otherwise they would think I was joking about the child-like and expect a masterpiece of Jim Davis proportions.

Another day of not accomplishing much draws to a close. I stare at page 94 and wonder where it all goes from here. I know where it goes, but how do I make it flow. If it were ice, I could set it outside in the heat. If it were my cat, I could toss a piece of tuna and watch him run. If it were my heart, I could just tell it to stop and it would pound out forever. But it is something more and that I can not describe, so sweet dreams and much love from one wounded to heart to any other.

So it has been another wild and exciting couple of days for everyone's favorite demented net princess. I didn't have work on Friday, so the microfiche had a big pity party for themselves. After all, they never get as much love when the queen of microforms/healer of hearts is not around. No one could love them more than I and I daresay half as much. So how did I entertain myself?

Well, a couple of friends invited me to come down to their parents' house (hey, they're engaged, it's close enough). They were even foolish enough to let me chop watermelon. *burp* As anyone who has paid attention to me lately has noted, I love anything that involves water, and watermelon is a must have for any Fourth of July celebration. So we cooked, we laughed, we ate, I blended well, and then we set out to a big field to provide a show for the neighbors. A few hints for the faint of heart:

1. If you think you are going to set yourself on fire, you are because you are going to be so nervous you mistake your shoestring for the fuse.
2. Don't stand too close to weird people who are catching lighter gas in their hand and setting it on fire. They tend to smell like burnt hair for some reason.
3. If you knock over the mortar tube in the direction of your friend, tell them unless you want to see them come after you with a stick after the mortar soars inches from them.
4. When making a dash away from the launch point, do not stop to sniff the grass by falling over.

Just a little advice that we an all use when setting off anything explosive, like my temper for instance. *smiles so innocently* We put on a very satisfactory show for the neighbors and then got to stamp out sparks and pick up random garbage from the field. Then it was back to a Bond movie marathon, a birthday party with the Big Bootie gang, and enough cake to keep any Bella dancing into the wee hours of the morning (even if it was just in her head).

So the next morning I woke up and tripped over Ziggy a couple of times, tripped over Ziggy a couple of more times, and then finally found my way to my toothbrush. I love my toothbrush for about a week after any festivities where I put too much food on my plate. Some flavors just never seem to go away. Besides, I believe in good oral hygiene, having smelled tuna breath far too many times. *smiles adoringly at her cat* Then I ate a healthy breakfast and decided to go explore the joys of credit card debt. That's right, I bought a bike. Just in case, I get desperate to escape, I can pedal away into the sunset with myself. So be wary if you see me whizzing by because with my luck there will be a pack of hounds on my tail. Even Catwoman has her enemies.

And then there was this lovely Sunday morning. My faith in God remains unwavering but my faith in people is doomed to be sorely tried. At some point, I realized that I have two official ambassadors. One is not as widely used as the other, but there are two. People ask them questions, for press releases no doubt, and people send them to me with requests. Now I am not sure when I became completely unapproachable, especially by people that I thought were my friends but it has happened.

I just find it unique that the same person has asked my ambassador to speak to me about things two weeks in a row. Surely, I am not that hard to get ahold of. I have a phone, six e-mails, instant messenger, and I am sure that my current location is widely known to the real world. Still I find myself only having real communication with one person in this circle. Now I do have a guestbook for those of you who want to let me know if you think a) I am apparently managed by the said ambassador. b) So hard to approach that the person who seems closest too me is the best option. c) People are just morons and I should find new friends. or d) Something else entirely--please specify. Anyway, I need to get some sleep since my ambassador has called so that I no longer need to worry that the phone will ring.

So my ambassador was unavailable, but my machine was not. I still haven't spoken to the person themselves, but such is life. Yesterday to help me with being my own unique country, some of my friends at work were nice enough to build the great wall of book trucks. You can't imagine the joy it brings to know they are that concerned about my safety. Of course this led to some entertaining difficulties when I tried to slip through with my laptop on my hip. Let me take you there:

So I haven't done much of interest today. I waded through the pond that is my front yard and joined the vanguard of loyal library employees who made it to work in spite of the flood conditions surrounding us. It's incredible how fast the sun comes out and begins drying up the tears that the sky has just shed. Some people are still at home pumping water out of their basements and removing debris from their lawns, but here I sit with a big bottle of water, a laptop, a ninety-seven page love letter, and some gum. Can life get any better than this?

I am also re-evaluating my weekend plans. I was planning to make the fabled journey to Palmyra, but I don't think anyone wants to be on a road trip with me for six hours. Besides, due to my own desire to buy expensive albeit useful toys, I seem to be having some fundage issues. Now if I can succeed where others have failed and get in touch with people, I can break the sad news. I wonder if they will believe me this time. I don't think I will find the exact amount of money I need to pay my way in the back of a cab this time. Oh well, on to other windows and other words. Keep on pressing forward.

Well, I have been sleeping far too much. My poor darling laptop had some problems due to a bad AC Adapter, but thanks to Dell and their great tech support, she is all better now. Now I can spend more time with her and with any luck, more time entertaining you:) Don't hold your breath. There does seem to be a lot of wild stuff going on in my life. That wild stuff includes sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping. You can't begin to imagine how much excitement that can put in your life.

On another note, I want you all to start saving your pennies now. For what? My Christmas Present? Donuts for my fat charity? Crackers for my invisible parrot--ARRRR? No, you need to save up seven dollars so that you can come appreciate the joys of the Haunted Hayride in October. Imagine this--me running around in the dark scaring small children. You want to know more? Muhahahaha. This is exactly why you will be saving your pennies and making your way to Westover in about three months.

I also got to see LXG, also known as League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, this weekend. It starred Sean Connery and Peta Wilson, or Sean Connery and La Femme Nikita. *giggles* What a match-up, eh? No, she was not his random blond. Of course, I could be saying that because she is not blond in this one, so you'll have to watch it to find out about that. I thought it was rather good. Parts were too Bond-esque and some things were way too obvious, but I was entertained.

Aside from that, the sun keeps spinning around my world without setting anything on fire. Someday, perhaps, the sparks will fly and exciting words will fill this page again. In the meantime, keep smiling.

Well, I woke up at an early hour to the infamous Rodney trying vainly to steal my pillow. Surely, by now, he realizes that this makes him part of the pillow, but he was determined. I think he may have succeeded in the end, but I was asleep already. I did take the opportunity to attack him the next time I woke up and steal the blanket he was curled up on, as it was no longer covering my feet. That makes us even. I hope he agrees or he may be waiting for me at home with a tranquilizer gun and I am wearing sandals--eek!!!

Having shot me in the foot, he would them declare a new holiday, Kitty Bastille Day and celebrate his independence from French-speaking monarchs. Odds are that he would them burst into patriotic song and cavort about the house with his two fuzzy friends. Eventually, I would wake up though. He can't kill me after all, who would keep his pillow warm until he wants to plunk down on it?

The library has had a few less people sitting in front of the computers with blank expressions lately. I find it a refreshing change, but it does of course lead to some resentment of our systems staff. Now, I think the systems people are wonderful people, even if they have not quite earned their cookies, but other people don't always agree. If they can't see physical proof of the work that people do, they assume that no work is being done. Silly people. Anyway, I have noted some oddities and it makes me wonder if the the system's staff is trying to blend in with the average library patrons.

Weeping willows wash the blood from the water
Yet it is still here in my wounded soul
I thought in the end that it wouldn't matter
That such a heart break would never take its toll
Yet here I sit, seeing my reflection in blood
And suddenly it is so clear that I can see
In the bottom, the depths with pebbles and mud
Is the dying remains of what used to be me
So the weeping willows have blood cleansed away
So I can look up through the murky waves once more
And see myself looking back to a long ago day
When I swore I would never see such harm anymore

Ah, another lovely mood from Bella. I feel a little out of it today--probably from lack of sugar. My happy little world runs on chocolate and sugar and fruit juice. What else would it run on? Not that it matters most of the time, people rarely want to see the real you, anyway. Mostly they want to rip you open and use you for what they can before tossing you aside. If they let you hang on, it is just to remind you that you were once amusing, but then they dug too deep and found out that there was a real person inside who wept and bled and never quite escaped from memories or the self.

Then again, who wants to crack the surface? If you could see into me, you'd see the pain as well as the laughter. You'd see a heart so full it will someday explode in an attempt to grow larger. The healer of hearts must first love beyond all logical boundaries before hoping to heal. If you broke past Bella, this wonderful enigma, would you want to face the quiet girl who is her match and her solace? I doubt it. When they are faced with that lady, I get to see the backs of more heads. So we shall venture back to the world of mirth and sunlight as soon as I pump myself full of chocolate and cat cuddles.

On another note, we have been together almost two years--my journal and me. This is officially my longest lasting intimate relationship. We have laughed together and cried together. We must celebrate, so with a month to prepare, I have opened an online store. The proceeds from this venture will hopefully be enough to buy me my very own domain someday. Then it will be easy for all my faithful readers to log on and see what I have been up to. Besides, you get some cool merchandise as well. No one loses. Anyway, shop well, and let me know if there is anything else you would like to see in the wild world of Bella merchandise.

Oddly, no one has purchased anything from my store yet. If you would like any of the sayings or images to appear on another piece of merchandise, let me know and I will see what I can do. I also take suggestions, but don't be too heartbroken if your dreams of t-shirt famedom are not realized immediately. I do have other things to work on. After all, my love letter has been sitting on page one hundred for a while. I am amazed I actually hit that point, so I may have to get over my amazement before I can tap out more words to make it whole. The end draws ever closer, yet I divert myself with celebrating this journal.

I also divert myself with work. I have spent most of the day weeding through the microfiche collection. I am hoping to make it completely user friendly in case people find out what microforms are. You can imagine that I am great fun at parties where people ask each other about their jobs. But as I always say, "I keep the insomniacs sleepy."

Anyway, kids, the lunch hour ticks past and I have worlds to conquer. I will chat more at you later, hopefully with some fun and exciting info. You never know, I may just earn enough in this first week to get a real domain and server space. *tries to look optimistic as she wanders off*

Ever feel like there is so much inside you just wanting to bubble up to the surface. I have a dozen things I want to do that I know with a certainty that I can do well. I just have the issue of time. I only have so much of it and so many friends to keep in touch with as I try to make time for all the projects I want to accomplish. If only I could quit my job to develop them, but then I would not have money or place to live. I know I could fill my hours with purposeful goals, but I sometimes question how much people appreciate the myriad of things that I do as it is, let alone how much more I want to pour forth into the world. Enough to pay me? It doesn't seem to be the case because I haven't received any large chunks of money as of late.

I guess that is part of what makes life so exciting. We get to do things that we could probably live without and then budget the rest of our spare time between what really moves us. Not that I don't love working at the library. (I know I could get a better job if I looked for one.) I just feel that there is so much more inside me than the knowledge of how microfiche should be filed and proper procedures for checking them in. Don't worry, I do plan to continue this noble goal for the edification of all microfiche enthusiasts who frequent the library. I shall just have to re-evaluate my schedule again from time to time. Anyway, I wanted to babble about that and get it off my chest. Now I have a love letter to work on because I really must finish it. Two other projects of a similar nature want to bubble forth and be loved by me, but I would like to get this one tucked away first, so wish me luck and keep shopping. I may even find time to design some more merchandise today.

I feel the need for a contest, but I am not sure that I have enough readers to make it worth the hype and the fun. Seems that a lot of my readers have went off and joined the masses of people who are not hooked directly into their computers. I, however, am still firmly plugged into my precious Déesse. Not like I am getting love from anywhere else. I guess the males who love me just aren't man enough to accept the challenge of asking me out. Soon, I feel their time will have run out. No, not because I am going to off myself. A beautiful mind like this can't be wasted on such foolishness. I'd explain myself, but I don't feel like it right now, so you can just wonder, "What would take Bella off the market?" You won't guess it, none of you knows me as well as you think you do.

So I went for a walk through the grass in my bare feet last night. I had to get that deep down hobbit feeling and the multiple donuts I had to fill in my extra meals weren't quite enough. Why did I get donuts? In honor of the fact that I am getting older. My soul already feels like it is 120, so my body has a lot of catching up to do. Don't worry, darlings, I shall continue to formulate cool merchandise for you to purchase in order to support your journal habit. I know I haven't posted in a while, but that is because I haven't had much to say. I didn't even have bad jokes to make about flaming snowmen (all the rage in Heck).

I've just been slaving away at barcoding and microfiching and even squeezing in some moments to make my beautiful love letter reach a whopping one hundred ten pages. Ah, so much to do and so little time. Today I got to add to my list of things to do because eventually I am going to have to explore the joys of zope because otherwise I am not going to fit in at the zope meetings I keep attending. Speaking of lists, I better go and update my wish list. Maybe I will find some nuggets of gold to post here later.

Well, happy cake day to the birthday boy. Try not to party too much, Jamie.

So I didn't do anything too exciting for words today, yet still I don't have much to say. I did get to spend the evening with some friends and returned home to an answering machine message that consisted of someone eating. If you happen to be that person, leave a message or don't bother calling. It's a waste of time. Anyway, I draw ever closer to finishing a rough draft so I can proceed to critique myself.

So we reached the conclusion today that Santa Claus is only about a foot tall. That is how he really fits down so many chimneys around the world. He also isn't fat, he's just really buff. After all, he must have incredible strength to lug around all those bikes and other great gifts that are bigger than he is.

On another note, I am about to sink into the wonderful world of upgrading Déesse, so I may not have any tidbits for you this evening. Try to control your sadness and have a lovely evening. Maybe I will have random surprises for all my devoted web groupies before too long to reward you for your patience.

I woke up this morning and threw myself over my cat into the wonderful center of my floor. I then proceeded to flee to the shower with two sweet kitties in tow. I think it disturbs them when I disappear behind the curtain. They probably wonder if I am really the wizard of Oz and I am getting my practice in every time I sneak into the shower. "Pay no attention to that hobbit behind the curtain."

After I traumatized the cats, I went to work and spent some time with the microfiche. I know that everyone gets all warm and fuzzy when I say microfiche. They then grab their pillows and sneak off to their rooms without reading the rest of my beautiful post. Try to stay with me, I just may say something sweet and joyful.

So what's worth it? Well, I downloaded and installed Zope all by myself. Yes, I installed something all by myself. Aren't you so proud of me? That gets me another geek point. A couple more of those and I may even earn my own cute, geek girl shirt. *looks thoughtful*

I also got to give a talk to my friends at Family Home Evening. I am not big on talks, but sometimes I get a truly warm, comfortable feeling when I talk. That always makes it worth it. I can only hope that the people listening took something away besides the thought, "She is wearing strange purple jewelry". Well, if they didn't, I will blame it on too much stress and the fact that I sometimes talk about as loud as a giraffe

I also got to show off my mad hobbit skills. I played kickball "in the hobbit". I kicked off my shoes, losing three inches, and threw my tiny little hobbit legs at a bright, shiny yellow ball whenever it came at me. I may not be the best kicker in the world of kickball, but I do get an E for effort, so technically I did not fail. *wink* Keep reading, darlings, and pick up some merchandise. I am also open to suggestions if you want me to design an item just for you:)

There she goes, the cute little ball of light known as Bella. She is racing across your screen at top snail speed, and we are not talking about the racing snail from the Neverending Story. Something is wrong in Bella-land. I think I may be broken. Perhaps more sleep could help. If only I could resist the urge to update this journal.

I even got to touch real books yesterday, so I should be overly excited. My microfiche were incredibly jealous though. There may be war in the making in the library. I fear the microfiche may lose as the books have more mass to swing around. We'll never know unless the situation escalates.

I spent a fair amount of time over the past couple of evenings assembling paper journals of a sort. Just trust me that there should be some contented shiny, happy people tomorrow evening. Anyway, not much is happening in the world of Bella, so keep checking in for more wuv and waughter.

Another month is coming to a close. It has been an exciting day. It started with a lovely visit to the library sauna. What I mean to say is that the library was a sauna. It was about 90 degrees and rather humid. That deep joy ended when someone sank the battleship, U.S.S. Wise. In other words, our fire alarm went off, sending lots of half asleep librarians pouring into the streets. Of course, some of us arrived after the alarm went off, so we had to cut them off at the pass.

We also saw a rat-like rock. It was just laying around trying to look harmless when we mistook it for a rat. Luckily, we realized it was just a rock before we caused a statewide panic. After all, rats are known for their deep affection for book bindings and the heels of librarian's shoes. This could lead to all sorts of trauma if a real rat apppeared.

Not much else of interest happened, aside from working to revive my baby. That would be Horizons, not Rodney. He has been pretty active. He even wandered across me earlier for fun. We're in the process of revitalizing the world by basically starting over. It sounds odd, but it should all work out for the best.

I also got to take a brief course in canning. So if you find me giving vegetables a hot water bath, let it go. Some vegetables are just more content being bathed. I also got to hold an adorable baby. Now I know you are all jealous. Who needs their own babies when they can hold other peoples' babies and feed them? Well, I need sleep. Sweet dreams.