TOP TEN REASONS HOBBITS WILL ALWAYS WIN SNOW WARS

10. While you are slipping and sliding in those fluffy boots, hobbits are holding fast with hairy, sexy feet.
9. The height advantage is that hobbits don't have to build their forts as high to avoid getting whapped in the head.
8. They took on the fires of Mount Doom, Nazguls, and those gorgeous marshes (you know the ones), you don't think they can't handle a little ice and snow?
7. You throw a snowball, they use it to make hot cocoa or soup.
6. Well, to be honest, they sometimes win by default because they are too busy eating to bundle out and come out in the snow.
5. How could you throw a snowball at such cute, happy-go-lucky creatures. What were you thinking?
4. Since the days of Bilbo Baggins, hobbits have been known to be quite talented at surprising people.
3. One word, baby: Charisma!!!
2. Because they have a sexy web diva in their ranks.
1. Who would expect such cute little butterballs to know how to throw?

Okay, enough of that for now. I wouldn't want to completely ruin the season by overloading your senses. Yesterday was indeed a glorious day. Many of us got to feel our Merry Poppins best as the wind tried to pick us up and whisk us away. This same wind led to me waking up to the dead silence of my bedroom. Normally, my sleep is accented by the lovely whir of Niobie's fans. Niobie is my less famous computer who helps me get my Z's with her lovely music. Needless to say, I was sure in that moment that the day held many adventures for me.

Upon awaking for real and sneaking into my shower, I was greeted with more interesting thoughts. My roommate advised me not to wear anything nice. My roommate being an avid retrosexual, I couldn't fathom why he would care what I put on. It turns out that he wanted me to help put the skirting back on the house. Yes, the trailer in which we live wears a skirt. Had I designed the skirt, surely a stiff breeze would not be able to whisk it away.

I did make it to work, but after getting there realized I overbooked my day. It happens from time to time. When you are a beloved web diva, sometimes you just have to take time off from work to fill the world with light. So I went home, paid some bills, looked at my woeful bank account, and then went to the store. As I was standing in the baking aisle, which I find rather intoxicating anyway, my obvious librarian tendencies caused people to seek my assistance. One gentleman asked for molasses which I promptly pointed out, and a lady, encouraged by his luck no doubt, asked me where the Nutella is. Despite some people's constant references to this interesting spread, I actually didn't know where it was, but when I turned to obsess over the peanut butter, there it was staring at me. In short, I made two people happy in a very short time.

After finishing my shopping trip without further forays into the realm of answering questions, I proceeded to return to my hobbit hole and bake cookies. I also managed to squeeze in a fun trip to watch my friend buy supplies. He is probably currently freezing his butt off at a local ski resort trying to get a free season pass. I am not sure how amused he or the other denizens in the store were with my shenanigans, but I was giggling. I started to try on some ski suits, but figured I'd just hurt myself in the process. Besides they didn't have a super huge one, so I could pretend to be a sumo wrestler.

Then it was off to trade cookies with the lovely ladies of my Ward. That should give fair warning that when I hit those cookies, the world will be full of Bella sweetness. That went off amazingly well and then it was home for some sleep and snuggling.

Today has not been quite as exciting. I got to spend some quality time with the fiche, but that was about it until we bought 20 pounds of beef off the back of a truck. Okay, so my roomate bought the beef, but we are clearing away mad cow disease one heifer at a time. I am sure someone out there will love us for that. Anyway, more excitement later. Be good.

So I spent last night getting into the holiday spirit. We had a fireside forty-five minutes away. This one was a Christmas fireside. Despite all my random grumpings, I had an excellent time. After all, these functions are full of tall people for hobbits to stand next to. That and the singing was phenomenal. Okay, all of the singing was phenomena; except the congregation trying to sing "Messiah" which most were not familiar with. Such things are hard to put into words, however. You have to be in a place to appreciate such things, especially where music is concerned. Whenever it is performed live, there is always the opportunity for some nuance that makes it absolutely perfect for you, for the moment and you can never recreate that.

And, with web divas, always more words need to be said, but I can not say them. I dare not hope you could understand. I dare not hope that I have not gone completely mad. I dare not hope that someone, anyone will ever see in me all that is worth loving. So I leave you with this, no matter who else loves you, no matter who betrays you, no matter who takes hold of your heart, if you have ever had my love, my respect, or my friendship, please count yourself lucky. It seems like something you should just expect to have, but it is my gift to you. I may give you no others, but I fear sometimes people don't appreciate how much it means to be loved by me. Sweet dreams.

Bring down the sun with curses to burn
Away this flesh which is loved more than I
As my heart sinks, my world churns
And all I love seems to avoid my eye
Screaming away into darkness that can't see
All that I know, all I have heard
But you try to explain the enigma of me
When you can't, you don't have the word

And there you stand still wishing you know as you try to explain what is unexplainable. And you wonder why you can't touch me. And I wouldn't advise trying it again.

Kiss me like this, no lips only your eyes
No clouds of doubt, no unearthly disguise
Kiss me like this, without letting go
Hold me for all eternity, because I know
You can kiss me like this with no end
Because first and foremost, you are my friend

Miss Kewl, you know what I am talking about. Every one else, you have no idea so quit trying to figure me out. Now on to the excitement that was this hobbit's last Friday night. I took another of my famous naps. Upon awaking, I dug through my room for the perfect white elephant gift. I believe I chose wisely, but the secret of what I took shall go with me to the grave.

Among the more exciting books brought to the party were a lamp that you put water in, various garbage from someone's attic (this resulted in random auctioneering to get rid of these items), vacuum cleaner bags, some baseball caps, some stationery, and some condiments from local food vendors. I scored a hanging decoration that looks like a spiffy twisted wand like that seen in Willow. One can only imagine the celebrations across the world now that one of the short one's is now armed and ready to defend the world she loves.

After the party wound down and people handed me random packets of stationery to get rid of them, another party convened. We played lots and lots of cards. In fact, we played cards until about three in the morning. I won at Phase 10 despite begging people to skip me. People just don't cooperate enough for you to get a good nap during a game anymore. Then I drove some ladies home and went back to sleep.

I awoke to an afternoon full of Christmas fun. The Mrs., my sister-in-law, and I went to Walmart. This is not the place to go on a Saturday, particularly not in the holiday season. It was a wonderful mad house full of people running in every direction. I don't recommend it, even in the off season. Some people really have nothing better to do with their Saturday than hang out at Walmart.

Anyway, the ladies and I then created holiday magic. We began the complicated process of making graham cracker houses. This will all be finished with more creative genius on Monday, so everyone should come to FHE. Anyway, my cat is warm and cuddly. I think I may take advantage of this and use him as a teddy bear.

Ever wonder what that sound is sweeping between your ears? Ever wonder who all these voices are that come back to haunt you? Ever wake up to realize you are just trapped in another dream--this one far more confusing than the last? Ever feel like there are a million things you want to ask? Ever feel like there are a million things you want to say? Ever feel like you are trapped in a world you'd be better off forgetting? Ever find yourself too busy to even begin?

So the ground has finally turned white and the cuddly teddy bear in me has decided this is the appropriate time to sleep it all away. After getting about ten hours of sleep last night, I woke up and drove myself to church. Most of my lovelies have left me for the vacation, so it was rather a quiet day there. By the time all of us came out feeling cheerful and full of the true spirit of Christmas, the roads were covered in a lovely white blanket. I enjoyed practicing my winter driving and realized that not only do my tires need changed, but so do my windshield wipers. It is very difficult to see when a nasty film of of ice builds up on your windshield. I made it home safely, however, read a little bit of the conference edition of the Ensign and then crawled into bed to dream about aliens and having over a hundred cats on my bed. *snickers* From Alien Baby to Crazy Cat Lady: A Web Diva's Story--if I write this book over the holidays, will you buy a copy? Send me an e-mail and let me know. As you can imagine, I don't have much else to say.

The air has a more than slight feel of the North Pole. In fact, it is so cold outside that I don't think even the reindeer would want to be out in it. Family pets across the state are probably plotting how to break into the house and bask in the warm glow of the fire. Just let them in. After all, it is the holidays.

Of course, some people have been trying to get into my fire lately. As my cat has proved, stepping into fire results in pain and singed whiskers. Rodney once turned on my mother's gas stove and proceeded to walk lopsided for a week or so because half his whiskers caught fire and needed to grow back. So take a tip and share it with my cat: don't play with or in the fire.

So work was spent trying to clean some of the interesting papers off of my desk. I decided to let the microfiche have a break while I tried to clean off part of my desk. I want to start the new year with some extra space for random new projects of lesser proportions. I know I will not be disappointed in this. I never am.

So the afternoon didn't go so well. Let's just say my tummy was not too happy. I managed to make it all better with the help of a muscle relaxant. Then I proceeded to begin yet another quilt. This one features the illustrious Snoopy. I had to give Pooh a break. He's been feeling a bit overused in my crafts. Anyway, having barely got that started, I had to go play in the snow again.

I drove over to a friends house to play the illustrious Battle of the Sexes Game. Despite our smaller numbers, the ladies won, of course. The high points of the evening included a brief period of me doing the YMCA, me eating cookies, and some notable questions. The most notable question of the evening was, "In cooking, what do you beat until stiff?" which got the response of "cream". For those who must know, the real answer was "egg whites" as anyone who has ever made a good meringue will tell you. Anyway, more to come.

As another year draws to a close, I find myself pondering the goals for the one to come. Obviously, one of them is the joy of making some of the piles of fabric I have acquired disappear. So if anyone offers me a reasonable amount of money,I may be talked into making you a quilt or some other beautiful thing. I define reasonable.I find that most people underestimate the value of my time.

Another thing I need to do is burn some bridges. I keep paths open to people who prove time and again that they don't respect me enough to be my friend. I tire of having people try to fix me when I am not broken. I tire of them telling me to do what they wish they had done. I am not you. I am me. I know what I want, and I assure you that I have never told any of you the entirety of that, and many of you spend a lot of time proving my assessment of your absence of knowledge about me correct. I tire of your silly games, so unless I say, "let's play", how about you keep them to yourselves. Thanks.

On, another note, there is a beautiful girl out there in the world tonight who has no idea how much she is loved. I hope she feels a little of my love floating out to her. Darling, I know people don't seem to care or notice, but I do. I do care. I do notice. I am just helpless to heal you, and unlike so many others, I also know you will work through it on your own. I just hope you will take my hand from time to time and tiptoe through the tulips in search of tangerine tickling. Until we get the chance to do that, you need to sleep well. The rest of you can prove you respect me or choose to step off. Sweet dreams.

People are seeking out their white Christmas. I am pondering how this affects my plans since the hobbitmobile is not so fond of taking hills covered in white powder. It gets confused and wants to ski. I don't think that is safe for other cars on the road. Only time and the weather will tell. Anyway, I better get some sleep, as I may be called in to help out Santa tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

The day has come and almost passed away. A jolly old man or many jolly people who love you have presented and accepted their gifts. I have cleared up most of my forty-two names. A couple of them I could not get a hold of, so I kind of let them slip by, but as they haven't kept in touch with me too well, I am sure they'll forgive me. So everyone is looking around to see what loot they got. We're tallying it up and deciding who loves us most. I really don't care who gave me what today. I just hope they don't forget me for another year. But just for those who want to know, let me see if I can sum it up.

All I got for Christmas was: church hymns on CD, a Matchbox car VW bug, a Matchbox hippie van, one of the new My Little Ponies, some cards with dead sexy sheep on them, a mug and some cocoa, two mugs and a candle, another candle, a statue of an angel, a day planner, two bookmarks with little pins on them, a scarf, some gloves, Family Guy Season Three, a penguin ornament, an umbrella, a necklace with a beautiful butterfly is on its way, a rabbit's foot, a Willow wand, some stationary, a hand towel, a nail, snowman soup, the birth of our Lord and Saviour, some random food, and that is all I can remember. Gift-giving is never dull with me involved. Of course, I can't list all of the presents I gave out because I still have some people I haven't been able to present with their prizes for being loved by a beautiful web diva. I hope those who have received presents from me realize that I picked them or made them with love. I am not rich in much besides love and never will be because, I realize more and more, that I spend more time trying to bring happiness into this world than trying to line my pockets.

I hope my readers have felt some of the joy that underlies this commercialized holiday of buying the better gift. I hope you have each taken a moment to appreciate the people who love you. I hope you have someone to snuggle with and maybe even look up at that beautiful moon that is lighting up the night and make a memory that will make the thoughts of glitter and gold fade away. Have a Merry Christmas and before you tuck yourself in, thank the one who gives us the greatest gifts of all. And that can be your present to me.

I've said too much today and used up all of my words, so here is a tiny little birthday wish that is full of more love than a thousand suns. Happy Birthday, Miss Kewl. Remember that if they don't appreciate you, they don't deserve you. Thus I still deserve you. *huge hugs*

The year is drawing to a close and I have been bit by the motivation bug again. Of course, this is the same bug that keeps screaming at me to clean up my little world by getting rid some of the things I am inexplicably collecting, so expect to see this grow longer at some point. I didn't get around to revamping this site like I had hoped. I was busy washing, folding, cutting, and sewing material. I have two quilts in the works and an incredible pile of fabric I should probably tuck away before the cats use it to smother me.

So I kidnapped some boxes during lunch and meandered up to my car. I then tucked those boxes into the back seat. Now they are in the spare room waiting for me to fill them from top to bottom with more fabric than any sane person would ever own. After lunch, I went back to work to obsess about microfiche. That was not the high point of the day, of course.

It's Monday, so I invited Boys Club over to my house to eat cookies and play games. My cookies were very popular. In fact, all three dozen disappeared into the seven people in the house. No one even shared with the cats. Of course, I did manage to clean the house a bit, but the fabric is still in disarray. Perhaps, tomorrow will prove more profitable for fabric relocation.

I spend so many days battling demons that no one else can see. If you envy what you think I have, I would caution you that it is a lot of work. I have had to fight for everything I have. I have to fight myself to write anything these days. I have to fight my cat for sleep each evening. I have to fight to make my friends understand that I love them. Tell me something you envy of mine, and I promise I can tell you how I fought for it from my cat, who I have had to give CPR to, to my friends who I devote more time and energy to than even they realize. I tire of the people who take me for granted that is why I am snuggled up with my laptop on New Year's Eve. I am not in the mood to be reminded how I don't quite belong. I am not in the mood to hang along on someone's coat tails. I am not in the mood to go throw myself into a wild party of people who don't know each other or much of anything.

I used to have a poem posted on my front page:

I would not sleep in beauty, but I would be worth the kiss
I would not turn Cupid's arrow, but I would be worth the miss
I would not turn men to stone, but I would be worth the look
I would not be written sonnets, but I would be worth the book
I would not rage a battle for me, but I would be worth the fight
I have taken an eternity of sadness and woven it into golden light
I have wept tears that would bring Death himself back to life
I have given my all to everything and to all that is been the wife
I have set the world to turning and then I stopped it again
So take a look upon my face, and let an eternity of love begin

Still not sure I will ever find the one who will understand what that really means. I may have found him, but who knows. Other people like to tell me how odd he is. In one of my brighter moments of yesterday, I realized why people find him so odd. He is simply himself. He isn't what they expect him to be, like I am not what people expect me to be, or even what some of my best friends tell me I am. He also likes me just the way I am. He is one of the few people who has not given me advice on how to improve myself. That's not really important for another year or so though.

The other high point of my day involved food, the hobbitmobile, and Miss Kewl. We made a little visit to Panera where we enjoyed some reasonably priced, unreasonably good food. I got the joy of watching her play with one of her presents. Apparently, a tangle really does make you happy. I love it when the packaging doesn't lie to me. She needs to find some happiness (you do, honey, you deserve it). We all need happiness from time to time. Thus my last statement of the year is an endorsement of the Tangle, a frivolous toy to put a smile on your face.