Another beautiful day draws to a close. I have lived. I have breathed. I have eaten free pizza. I have seen too much, remembered too much, and found myself back here with a warm friend in my lap and nothing to say to my readers. What a wonderful opportunity to post a random quote.

People are more influenced by love than anything else. ~ George Albert Smith Teachings of George Albert Smith

"The thinking woman sleeps with monsters.
The beak that grips her, she becomes." ~Adrienne Rich

Intriguing how that works. I do sleep with monsters (well, sometimes my cats can be monsters). I also tend to hear monsters screaming and growling through my house. They try to live in my roommate's room, but he WoW's them with his random weapons of mass destruction and vanquishes them. This is all in a desperate attempt to reach another level.

I realize I don't seem to want much. I mean, I do have a television in my living room that came in a box that I could live in. In fact, I considered moving into the box, but my roommate threw it out. I think Ziggy is just as depressed about it as I am. She is an avid box homer. Not to be confused with a Homer J. A box homer is somewhat like a hermit crab. They move from box to box when they outgrow the old one. Ziggy is lucky. She can live in any little old box with plenty of room to spare. I need a really big box, so you can imagine that most movies I watch from now on will be enlivened by the ability to count more wrinkles and see more details.

Sounds like I plan on flying down the road in the hobbitmobile, hitting 85 miles per hour and disappearing into the past. The hobbitmobile may actually hit that speed again,. Thank goodness for my long-haired, freaky son. He may be too tall to be a hobbit, but I believe he is now my the hobbitmobile's second best friend. The hobbitmobile loves me best, of course.

That may be all of the excitement of the day. Well, there was a meeting where we discovered who we are playing secret Santa to. Now, I could tell you all who I am buying for but that would narrow down the thrill of surprise for my co-workers. Okay, okay, I am not buying for Rodney. Are you happy now?

I also played with the sweet sisters of the ward. We made some little food kits and discussed budgeting. As I already budget according to the Bella system, I found this to be a bit of a review. I did get to see a gorgeous hobbit lady though, so that was good. And now, it is time to kick out my contacts and crawl into my bed.

"...We can have peace within even when there is not peace without. There is no reason, therefore, for us not to be filled with a great sense of hope and to 'be of good cheer.' We can avoid both naive optimism and perpetual pessimism." ~Neal A. Maxwell Wherefore, Ye Must Press Forward

Some days, the right words find there way into my world. Perhaps, I should contemplate them more fully and take them to heart. So what's good on the menu?

The claw clock made sure I dragged myself out of bed and into some clothes today. Despite an impending headache, I did get the joy of processing some books and some fiche and bashing out some authority. Ah, yes, that is what I always do, but some days it just is good to know that I have accomplished something whether I think others will appreciate it or not.

After work, I went to get my glasses fixed. My new frames are a little darker, but they do give me that now famous "smart librarian" feel. They just aren't thick enough for the full effect. Maybe after I get a few more donations from all my adoring fans, I will be able to get nice fat frames and take up wearing my hair in a bun. Then I can have a Pinky moment. (Hey, even mice can appreciate the appeal of a librarian and the secrets we keep hidden under our buns. [Where's the beef? {It goes on and on...}])

Then after some therapeutic notebook purchasing, I made my way to the place where many a turkey has come to carry on a greater purpose over the years--the church. We had our annual Thanksgiving dinner complete with three turkeys. Yeah, those turkeys didn't stand a chance. Neither did those mashed potatoes and gravy. Yummy. Of course, that only took an hour of the evening. *sighs* It seems like we spend less and less time with each other, and, more sadly, we don't feel any great emptiness from this. I don't get it, but as long as I don't continue to have to watch my friends be unhappy. I know. I know. I can be unhappy, but they can't--one of my rare double standards.

As promised, I have a little gift for you from me and my Melissa:) Don't confuse her with your Melissa because she's mine.

YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO REPENT WHEN...

1. The water turns to blood...not wine.
2. The seventeen year cicadas keep coming back every year.
3. It's rained non-stop this month.
4. You keep finding frog legs in your stew (and you're not French).
5. You've been trying to find your house the last forty years.
6. It's midday. It's pitch black. You aren't wearing sunglasses. A Mitsubishi isn't involved.
7.The funny kid everyone picks on gets on a wall and says, "You're gonna die..."
8. Despite removing that Medusa costume, you have snakes in your hair.
9. There is a mass exodus from your city.
10. People who don't do drugs are having conversations with burning shrubbery.
11. The market share of boat builders skyrockets.
12. Some crazy old man comes into the restaurant and throws a tablet at a golden calf's feet.
13. The neighborhood gets impossible to live in...what with all the fire raining down on you.
14. You realize that those red splotches are not freckles.
15. Ever since that tower was built, you get the sneaking feeling that people just don't understand you anymore.
16. The big hit at the local theater involves skinny wheat eating fat wheat.
17. Your girlfriend turns you into a wimp by cutting your hair.
18. That warm fuzzy feeling you get from church is replaced by a cold disoriented feeling.
19. You don't remember the past three days, and everyone seems surprised you're alive.
20. You finally crawl out of the bar and all the "squares" are nowhere to be found.
21. Your car refuses to move and even starts talking to you.

mong the many thoughts that have caressed my brain today, I came across the realization that my e-mails are as full of random stuff as the rest of my life. I spent a little time trying to eradicate useless information such as forwards. I did find a link that I can click once a day to help find a cure for breast cancer. Click here to go to the website and click the rectangular pink button and give your support.

I also read quite a few chicken soup for the souls. Among the wisdom they imparted, as translated by me were some lovely thoughts:

1. Always find time to dance.
2. You're never too old to fall in love.
3. Real love surpasses all and does not fade.
4. Loyal friends are hard to find, but worthy of the same loyalty in return.
5. We should appreciate even our smallest blessings.
6. Even if our beliefs are different, we should respect the beliefs of others.

I also accomplished far more than I expected to today. I find it intriguing how easy it is to put my work in its place when it is quiet and peaceful. I also find it amazing how much work is still waiting patiently on my desk. I can only surmise how much fun I will have tomorrow with the piles of paper and fiche, and, perhaps, even fun guys (or is it fungi).

Of course, the cooking is followed up by the joy of eating. Pies and turkey and mashed potatoes and whatever else falls onto the table. If you're lucky, you escape before the turkey puts you to sleep. If not, your face goes splat into your pie of choice. But waking up the next morning is so sweet. Anyway, the flock of fur seems to want me to go back to bed again:)

Sad to say that my subject for this one is not quite accurate. Somewhere else is always where I meant to be whether I'm standing before you listening intently or gazing at velvet-covered walls. Either way, it isn't quite the perfect place for a darling diva or a happy hobbit. I don't expect you to understand or care. I just figured that my readers would want to know that since I don't have much else to say on the matter.

My day was filled with more waiting. Actually, I wasn't waiting so much as being annoyed that people don't listen to me when I tell them what I can accomplish. So little faith in me and yet they say they care. Ironic, isn't it?

Luckily, my re-cleaning of my lovely house was interrupted by a friend calling to ask me for a favor. I promised to help her out a year ago, so I was happy to get the chance to do so. I got to help paint a room. My friends house is painted in what I like to call Christmas colors. And that is our next wonderful and cheerful holiday. Are we ready for the holidays yet? We already got some snow, but now it is time to decide what to give people for the holidays. I'll settle for 5 dollars from all my fans (or increments). That way I won't have to find places to put more stuff. My house needs an overhaul as it is.

I relive for a moment the nights of my youth. I speak of my youth though many would tell me I am not now old. I have been old and aging too fast since I was about five, so this should really come as no surprise, nor is it the point. I speak of my youth meaning those days when I felt alive enough to stay up all night and still awake to the dawn and reach out toward the glistening dew of day. I rarely feel like that. Even now, I do not feel so alive. I feel, however, compelled for a moment to leave a remnant of me that speaks of what I truly am and not what people wish to see.

I, like all people, have been accused of being many things. I am loud. I am opinionated. I am too young. I am too old. I am too much to handle. I am so easy to control. I am a poet. I am a writer. I am nothing. I am everything. I am reliable. I am constant. I am gone. I am here. I am every where. I am lost. I am a fool. I am a genius. I have been told I am all of these and so much more, but what am I really? I am Bella. I am that soft whisper of love that will echo in you for eternity. I am compassion waiting to succor those I love. I am anger that I must bridle up and unleash only when alone. I am no great beauty, yet I am beautiful if anyone could dare look and see it. More than this, I am misunderstood, and no words I speak, no phrases I type, no books I dictate can ever make you see me. Nor do I request that you see me. I find that I only desire three pairs of eyes to truly see, but I am not sure I have found the final eyes that I can trust to unveil myself to. I have been stabbed in the back far too many times to think that my friends would not do it. (And, yes, my most fatal stabbings are from those with good intentions.)

I am not sure why that comes bubbling up again. Just my brain working overtime while my body goes through the motions of sorting the fiche and making sure they get to the right home. The holidays are coming to treat me to another fun scramble to keep everyone happy (even some people who I don't think care whether or not I shoot a little love their way). I can't help but love them though. Most of them are my family. How horrible is that? Anyway, while my mind thinks for a moment that I am still in my youth, my body is telling me it desires sleep.

I talk so big but get shy when you're around
Shuffle my feet, stare at the ground
Wish you weren't watching me with blank eyes
Defying me to speak of the affection that denies
Me the right to look at anyone else but you
Ah, but I talk so big, if you only knew
How much I want to hold you, send you careening
Somewhere beyond my dreams, where we are leaning
Like one into each other, setting those flames
That no one in the world has given names
Strong enough to express how I feel, but with big talk
I still see you, turn and flee, run not walk

That is my tribute to some of the greatest loves of my life right now (2005 Mitsubishi Eclipse and 2006 Ford Mustang). They all know they want me to rev their engine, don't you?