Obviously, last month was too exciting to keep track of. I spent all of last week with people I love. I spent it with my ward family on Monday, as usual. Then I took one of my mistresses out to dinner at the Outback on Tuesday. We ate until we were completely full of joy. I even got a sinful sundae, which I need to repent about by doing some jumping jacks.

On Wednesday, I got to visit my adorable nephew Parker and his mom. He's an adorable kid. Of course, yesterday, his mommy gave birth to his adorable sister whose name is the same as my real niece (well, the middle name of one is the last name of the other). I must admit this amuses me and makes me happy. Congratulations to my charming co-hobbit couple...

Thursday, I spent with another friend. Sadly, our dinner was not as satisfactory as we hoped. He also mentioned key lime pie which put me on a kick to make one, but I wasn't satisfied with my results. I believe I will just have to try again. Of course, I still have two slices of my first attempt in my fridge, so maybe I should finish them first.

On Friday, we had another fabulous game night. One of my friends dinged up his car on the way to Pittsburgh the weekend before, so I gave him a ride to the activity. All was well until we went to leave and another girl decided he and I were dating and encouraged us to make out in my car. I think (naw, I know) she is a little confused. The game night could have been better. I mean, it was fun, but I was disappointed in how few people showed up. Any activity is more fun with a wider variety of people and some enthusiasm (I get my enthusiasm from chocolate bars. Where do you get yours?)

Saturday was spent road-tripping. To help you imagine how awesome this was, you need these details: I was driving, we road-tripped to a big city, I don't like driving in big cities because the people there can be crazier than me. Needless to say, we had a couple of near death experiences, but I came back to life after eating half of the world's richest chocolate cheesecake. It was layer of chocolate cheesecake, Godiva cake, and chocolate mousse (I was applauding on the inside). Obviously, we returned home safely despite a huge tractor trailer switching into my lane without signaling. My gasp of annoyance and pre-rant woke up my passenger...

Sunday was just like most Sundays. I went to church. I bore my testimony without making people look confused. I got to think about how we should listen to the true source of knowledge instead of television commercials (my own interpretation, of course). I also got called to teach Sunday school. This should be nerve-wracking, but hopefully enlightening to all of us. I also had a pot luck dinner with some friends. I made a spicy rice bake that wasn't quite up to my standards, but I have recently been informed (yes, again) that my standards are too high.

And this week?

Monday found me spending time with my ward family once more. I gave the lesson (consider it practice). I was quite pleased to find that it made sense and hope it helped someone besides me. One of my friends and I then trotted down to Coldstone for ice cream. Then I went home and stuck my nose into Eclipse (I know, the name is so promising.) until I was ready to go to sleep. I spent the rest of the night being awakened every two hours by the cats. I begin to wonder if the cats think I am going to die of SADS (sudden adult death syndrome).

And last night found me visiting friends again. I was supposed to be there briefly and then go out for dessert, but somehow I ended up there for three hours. Dessert was worth it, so I feel I accomplished nothing besides buying some groceries.

The weather has turned chilly (icy, actually). The cold seeps into my bones, making me shiver and letting me know it is now time to wear the cloak. Yesterday begged to be a day for the cloak, but the rain pounding on the skylight in the bathroom declared this would not be so. Today, however, dawned with pristine clearness and less moisture.

As many know, the cloak causes the most interesting reactions in the people around me (the norms as I like to call them). People look away. People stare. People suddenly are in a hurry to get wherever they are going. Animals look excited that they found a hiding place that moves or something that sways provocatively for them to pounce. Then, of course, we get the people who misunderstand the reasons for the cloak.

"Are you in a play?"

"Are you a vampire?"

"You realize it isn't Halloween, right?"

The other major event of the day was my first attempt to make infamous roux. I didn't botch it too bad. I have this from a true connoisseur of Cajun cooking. I expect to get more feedback tomorrow...

This weekend, one of my friends recommended a book to me. I can't remember which one exactly because I didn't sleep enough for my brain to put that in long term memory yet. He added it to the top of my "must read" list for me which puts it right after the Twilight series if I am not badly mistaken. Of course, I still need to find the Harry Potters and I have that pile of random novels in my room that are of questionable quality, but I'll get to it eventually. In the meantime, I have to keep reminding myself that my halfway is most people's over the top.

I was at work today, safely hidden among the fiche and slips of paper. At some point, the font in all my programs looked smaller and sharper. I can only assume that another of those fun switches in my head went off. That isn't always a good thing unless one is really ready for some clarification. I wonder if I really need more clarification...

As always, I read too much into the books that I read. I can associate too strongly with some of the characters. It doesn't help that the main character is named Bella in Twilight. Of course, I have more than my fair share of Edwards--those men who would rather lose me than risk hurting me. I also have my fair share of Jacob's who want to fight for me even when they know it is hopeless. Either that or I live a rich fantasy life as I have been accused of by the last person to hold my hand...

I only wish I was imagining some of the things that happen to me. My life would be much less stressful. But, I am not going to go on and on about that here. I should just write the highly fictional story of my life. I am sure people wouldn't believe everything that happens to me. I can't believe half of it. For instance, who would believe that random stray animals like to try to follow me home.

I wouldn't want to leave out any of the more memorable moments of the last week, so I shall recap briefly.

My phone mysteriously learned how to ring, but the questions were all odd or not really in my range of expertise (some things just aren't).

I finished reading Eclipse, but I mentioned that.

I have been educated in why the cake is a lie.

With the help of a wraparound skirt, I managed to flash a UPS driver. This was not my goal. I also did not appreciate him driving onto the sidewalk and leering at me as he smiled and waved.

I gained a new appreciation for trailers for video games though I still don't have much desire to play them myself. I do, however, enjoy watching others partake of such entertainment.

I have to work on writing outside my head. I have found some new hobbies that give me plenty of time to ponder and assess the world but don't have me sitting here with my laptop warming my thighs. The pondering seems to be only semi-productive. Most of my pondering ends with lists...

What fate brings us here
To hold hands with empty air
To feel, to love, to care
When we're so gripped by fear
That hate and love mingle
In our hearts becoming one
And we feel it fade like sun
As night leaves us single
All alone in a trap we made
By feeling too much more
Than the one we feel for
As they turn away, frayed
By denial of something so real
It could shatter dreams
Until we admit that it seems
We must decide how we feel
And accept, at last, this fate
That brings us back to a place
Where we lose our fear, our face
Turns to what we contemplate
Just in time to bring us to
The life we know is true...

Despite a conviction that I should have stayed in bed since I haven't been feeling 200% the last couple of days, I still made my way to work. I also made another book disappear into the darkness of the depository. My life is so satisfying when I can do that. I also threw some items into the trash can much to the chagrin of the garbage collectors union with which I am associated.

We all reach the point where we just want to turn our backs on the aspects of our life that don't bring us fulfillment. The feelings only grows stronger when we realize those activities, people, and things are just sucking us dry and giving us nothing in return. You know the parts of life of which I am speaking. We all have addictions, grudges, unhealthy relationships, etc. that we know we need to erase from our life. It is not easy, but you have to do it sometime or how do you move forward.

As I am an aspiring crazy cat lady, I allow my mind to wander from time to time. I ponder important concepts like why these women prefer cats to people. During my pondering, I decided I should compile a list of the reasons why cats are often preferable to people. This is probably influenced by the number of times I have been insulted by people who love me. It must be noted, however, that I tend to bring out interesting qualities in both humans and people, so if your cats don't act like this, it is probably because you aren't destined to be a crazy cat lady. Here goes:

1. Cats are never afraid to tell you what they want. They want food, so they trip you any time you come to the kitchen. They want you to wake up (so you can feed them), so they paw any visible skin until you crawl out of bed. They want love, so they throw themselves into your arms or drape across you to lay their claims.

2. Cats are not afraid to love you, even if the bigger cooler cat is acting all coy.

3. Cats realize when you need your space and when you need a very fuzzy tissue or some cuddling.

4. Cats don't mind being your pillow from time to time.

5. Cats clean up after themselves.

6. Cats are grateful that you love them.

7. Cats don't mind if you laugh at them when they do something silly.

8. Cats don't always want to be the center of your world because they trust that you have enough love for more than one (well, except Rodney when I say Magic, but he's senile.)

Perhaps it is sleep deprivation that makes it easy to accept some of the truths of my reality. I don't know, but I shall comment on these truths anyway. First, I think it is fabulous that I can earn five dollars for drinking about a half a cup of barbecue sauce. Second, one can not claim a lack of interest and then get upset when the other person decides to go home after a few hours. Third, I will surprise you no matter how much you think I can't.

It is a very sad world where one can feel so sorry simply for caring. I find myself apologizing to people because I care too much or because they feel I don't care enough. In a world such as ours, however, caring at all seems to be far too much. It is too much effort for the little bit we get back, isn't it?

Monday Mormon Moments suffer from the lack of caring. At some point it became a popularity contest instead of a chance to spend time with people who share our beliefs. I go. I want to be there. I enter the room, and, BOOM!!! It hits me like a wave of apathy. No one wants to be somewhere just because they feel they have to go.

If we as individuals can not change our way of thinking and behaving, why do we expect the government to fix our problems. We live in a country that is supposed to be run "for the people by the people", but the people don't know what they want. I realize this is a gross generalization, but I have found it to be true. I have had so many people tell me that they want things that are in direct contradiction to other desires they have. I have walked the same road. Perhaps, that is why it hurts so much to watch them flounder. It could also be because I am crazy. You have to be to live in a world like this.

So we expect the government to clear up the current financial crisis. Why? So we can keep buying on credit. How many credit cards does one person need? I know I can apply for millions of them, but why would I want them? They take up space.

The world is a melange of emotions and experiences waiting to be had. I find that people don't always want to be reminded of this. I do not like the reminders.

I have always been amused by how people assume that a woman walking with a guy must belong to that guy. In France, my friend Ryan was looking for some sunglasses and the woman trying to sell to him started asking me questions. It wasn't until Ryan pointed it out to me that I realized that she had assumed that we were a couple. Needless to say, we weren't. We were just two friends exploring the glories of the French seaside town. I did end up buying some sunglasses though. Sadly, that was the last time I bought sunglasses...

Anyway, that particular occurrence popped back into my mind on Saturday evening. A friend of mine and I went to the Chinese Buffet because nothing cements a friendship like watching each other shovel massive amounts of food into our mouths. On our way into the restaurant, he was avidly playing with his cell phone. Two men passed us. As they did so, one of them looked us over, and apparently liked what he saw because he gave my friend a thumbs up. I believe my friend remained oblivious to the approval received for the person he chose to dine with since he didn't react and continued to press buttons on his phone. I proceeded to try not to laugh at the man thus giving him cause to think I was smiling in a friendly way.

Here we are on this earth, thinking we are all alone. We believe that no one understands us. We believe that no one cares. We choose to think that it doesn't have much meaning. We choose to draw away from the people who care about us for foolish reasons.

The problem here is that we are not alone. If we chose to reach out, we'd discover a world full of people who just need someone to talk to or spend time with. Instead, we bury our brains in mindless television, block out the world with text messages and ipods, and wonder why we feel so utterly alone when we can contact any one in a few clicks.

I reach out--a lot. As was brought to my attention by some people who feel neglected. Yesterday, I spent time with a number of souls for various reasons. One of my friends needed someone to talk to though I am not sure my advice was useful. One needed an escape from their house. Another didn't notice I was there for the most part, but I enjoy their company, anyway.

I did get to interact with many interesting creatures during one of these visits. My "sister" and I went to the mall for some much-needed girl time. We picked the perfect day to do it because the most adorable children in the world were running around in the most adorable costumes. The highlight of the evening may have been the little boy dressed as a lion who was happily twirling around with a pacifier in his mouth. You have to see such things to truly appreciate them. So, in short, we can be part of something wonderful if we take the time to appreciate the moment.